Reflecting on my past : Day 85 #100daysofwriting

Once upon a time, ten years ago, I worked shifts in a retail store. One week early, one week late. It was a fun time of life. 

At that time I was dating a professional skateboarder-slash-model with a flexible schedule. He used to say that he loved how I always had my beach umbrella in the boot. I remember working a late shift with sea sand in my ears because I'd rolled into work straight from the beach.

How is it that I earned so little and worked so much, yet I was so happy. Have I forgotten something? Was it all that sunshine? The boy? Or the utter lack of serious responsibility?

I sometimes hanker for those store days. Where I'd hang out with my friends while we folded shirts with military precision. Chatting up customers (that's actually how I met the skater) and competing for sales. Merchandising clothes.

Strange how I now choose and develop stock for those stores now. I've been with the company for 11.5 years already. Can you even believe that?

Back to care free and happy. I think it's the sunshine... I need more beach this summer...

The Question #100creativedays Day 28

I have so much on my mind - not really in a stressed way - more like sage wisdom from good sources. There are things that I'm dying to share with the world, almost too many things.

Maybe I need to act on them before I talk about them? That way I can write \ speak with conviction.

I had an intense conversation with someone tonight. Someone who I connected with a long time ago and then we drifted apart. As we chatted away, I could identify with her journey over the last year, and got so much insight. I'd like to think that she could identify with my journey too.

She's living the dream, by tooth and nail. I admire her strength. She writes and gets paid for it. I write and hide away. Her life is not easy, but she has an enviable freedom. My life is actually reasonably easy but sometimes I feel like I've sold out for comfort, that I've lost something of myself along the way - my passion, my drive.

When it comes to kids: I'm ready to kick off my shoes and climb a tree, in tights and a skirt, to rescue a ball. I'll sit crosslegged on the floor and let sticky hands stroke my face. I genuinely care. I will go the extra mile.

Ok, I had another example, but my mind is totally blank now.

Maybe the dedication that I have to writing, to my challenges, to my sobriety... When will I feel like that about more of my life?

I think you get what I'm saying? I'm too exhausted to think anymore!

Night night all
Xx