The Happy Couple

Brother and I received a letter from the lawyers, and they referred to us in about 4 points as “Mr and Mrs”. I was horrified, turns out so was Brother. Is it horror at the idea of being seen to be a couple? I’ve always balked when referred to as Mrs – is it simply because I’m not married? I always correct the telesales consultant, and in this case, paralegal.

Part of me felt like by calling me Mrs, they were making me Brother’s dependant, while we are equal… or quite frankly, I’m actually above him. Call it the pecking order, but I think we are both aware of my status as oldest. On the offer to purchase, my name came first but the lawyers put Brother’s name first on their paperwork. Brother even commented on this, saying maybe it was alphabetical.

We are in this 50/50, Brother might be more liquid than I am, but I have 95% of the furniture etc. I’ve seen glimmers of power play from Brother already and I do wonder what the dynamic will be when we live together. I’m sure I will try and look after him, and I don’t mind. But will I become his faux-wife? That seems very weird.

Brother did say I could have the bigger room, but to the same token I told him to take the garage. Maybe it’s about compromising because we understand each other’s needs? When I spoke about skimming the walls of the flat, Brother did seem to think that I expected him to pay for the walls in his room, while I see us as owning every room together. I do worry that my décor will cover the flat and I’m already trying to work out how to make it “ours”. I suppose it will all settle with time.

All in all, I will always be the big sister, but I think this is a whole new chapter.

Adult Bookstore...

Careful what you wish for...

I wonder how it feels when a couple has been trying for a baby, and then suddenly, the stick turns blue and everything is changed forever. I literally feel like I’ve pee’d on the stick and now a little blue house is staring back at me. This is what we wanted, why am I so terrified now? We got our bond, a 100% bond… we prayed and God gave us what we asked for… we caught the magical unicorn, the rare 100% bond in a time when no one believed we’d get one. This is what we asked for…

I’ve calmed down significantly, but a few hours ago I was almost hysterical… I think I phoned Brother about 5 times, each time I’m sure we was getting more and more upset with me. He used that calm authoritative voice that he clearly learnt from Dad, or maybe it’s a class they give teachers… it doesn’t calm… it made me feel 5 years old…. Now I can see that he is just as freaked out as I am. This is huge… this is real now.

I feel ok now, why was I freaking out? Is it the loss of freedom? I’ve lived alone for 4 years. I suddenly need to be more responsible, more considerate, less messy. These are good things.

Is it the money? The bond repayments will be less than my current rent. But there will be extra, curtains, some paint, I really want to change some things… but it will be ok.

Maybe it's just because it happened so fast? This is good, we aimed for February and we will probably only move it then...

It will be ok. We will be ok.
This is what we wanted.

I'll Tell You What I Want...

Excuse me Dear Reader, can you stop wiggling your hips while lip syncing Spice Girls....

On the 1st of September, a darling friend and I spent our Saturday night surrounded by magazines, glue and poster board... yes, we saw Spring in by making VISION BOARDS.

The idea is to make a collage of words and pictures illustrating "What I want", as in future goals and wants. In a way I did it for fun, but over the last 6 and a bit weeks I've seen that subconsciously I prioritised my goals. Certain things or there, but certain things are not...

Here's my board

Without breaking it down too much, I covered the following:
Healthy eating
Weight-loss
Exercise
Friendships
Love
God
Art
Work
Travel
Car
Good sleeping

AND HOUSE

Certain things are missing: studies and writing

So while me blogging is obviously writing, I'm not trying to get paid by writing, studying writing, or writing anything significant - ie a novel.
Studies are obviously not top of my mind either. Which makes me think it is not a big priority right now.

Home owning is front and centre, and I think we all know it is TOP GOAL at the moment! Probably worth mentioning that Brother and I had decided to start flat hunting just the night before.

Healthy eating and weight-loss, while not being necessarily focused on, I've changed by diet by cutting out wheat and alcohol this month... and loss 2kg.


I'm trying to enjoy work, dress colourfully and keep quoting "Try to value your own opinions and celebrate your successes, however small" - all inspired by the board

A good start I think!!!


I'd really recommend making a board and keeping it somewhere that you will see it daily - It's great to have a reminder of "What I Want".

Good luck kids

xxxx

Sibling Bonding...

So.... the offer we put in for the flat was accepted last night... after jumping up and down on my bed (and then collapsing with coughs... not well, not well at all) I called my brother.

Now we have all the admin involved in getting a bond... eeeeek.....


Obviously I have no monthly budget to speak of, so spent yesterday evening trawling through bills to find out how much I actually pay on clothing accounts every month *frowns*
It looks to be ok, the bond repayments will be lower than my current rent (good hey?)

Well, watch this space.... hold thumbs/pray/dance... whatever it takes to get us this bond!

Oh just grow up!

I am a grown-up and have been for ages.... but don't feel like one.... and some people still treat me like I'm not... but then again some scamster called me a grown-up the other day: as in "My mom told me to ask a grown-up for help... I need R50 to get home.... I'm a student" but then in the same week the bouncer at Deco asked me if I was over 22? So I ask you, at which point do we actually become grown-ups?

When did I stop wanting to do it all myself? Think stubborn 16 year old swearing she is old enough to stay out till midnight. Now I wish my parents would just do all the crappy grown-up stuff for me! Buying toilet paper and electricity is SO LAME. I like having my own money to do with as I please, but goodness me, I wish it wasn't up to me to pay for EVERYTHING.

I really want my own flat, to paint pretty colours without a landlord threatening me... but do I actually feel like the responsibility of maintaining the plumbing??? Or paying for said paint? er.... NO. But it comes with the territory.

I found this article The 50 signs you are a grown-up and when I go through the list, its seems I'm only 25% grown-up.

I've got this down:
43.You like receiving gift vouchers
44.Work keeps you awake at night
38.You iron
11.Recycling

3.Paying into a pension

8.Being able to cook an evening meal from scratch
16.Doing your own washing
18.Planting flowers
12.Having a savings account
35.Making sure mum and dad are phoned at least once a week
26.Holding dinner parties
24.Being able to change a light bulb
14.Watching the news

I definitely don't have this down:
13.Knowing what terms like 'ISA' and 'tracker' mean

19.Being able to bleed a radiator
34.Going to bed before 11pm
22.Keeping track of interest rates
33.Wearing coats on a night out
39.You wash up immediately after eating
42.Always going out with a sensible pair of shoes
21.Having a view on politics
47.Being able to change a car tyre
48.Being sensible enough to remove make up off before bedtime

Have vague chance of getting these down:

4.Conducting a weekly food shop

5.Written a Will

10.Having life insurance
23.Finding a messy house annoying
25.Owning a vacuum cleaner
31.Carrying spare shopping bags just in case

Copyrighted: Paine Family Albums

In Response To: "I think I might actually be buying a flat"

Over morning tea I told some work friends that I'm 90% sure I'm signing an offer to purchase tomorrow....

Barely back at my desk and find this in my inbox:

I had to chuckle :)

29 days left of 29.... *groan*

30 Days to 30

it's coming... and I'm getting prepared....

1) Met with my financial advisor today to discuss cover if I get super sick...

2) Probably found the flat we are going to buy...

3) Had random drinks with friends to remind myself that I'm loved

4) Decided to make my own decisions without asking the advice of the masses - it just confuses me

Day 1 and I could care less....

      "Jumping up and down the floor,  

            my head

                    is an animal"

"Dirty Paws" - Of Monsters & Men


I have so much on my mind, little of it to do with alcohol or wheat. I guess that a pizza and a glass of wine would probably give me the illusion of more clarity, but let's not fail before we're even begun.

My brother and I have decided to buy a flat together - It feels like the most daunting thing I have ever considered. We haven't been looking for long, and have only viewed two properties. It feels like online dating, and more than once, let's say 4 out of 5 times, I've made contact with a realtor and then freaked out and cancelled the meeting because I didn't like the flat's profile picture.... or address.... cautious or shallow? Who knows?

Flat #1 looked super sexy in his profile picture and we seemed to like all the same things... gas hobs, apple green tiles, built in book selves... but Oh Man.... was he lacking in the bedroom department *chuckle*

Flat #2 admitted that he was rough around the edges, but was ample in the bedroom department... however; his cooking and personal hygiene left a lot to be desired. I'd have to completely mould him from scratch.... as fun as that sounds... his ex had been very rough on him, and I wasn't sure I felt like dealing.

Right now I'm not sure that my feelings about dating and house hunting are very far apart... I'm pretty petrified of commitment. I've been in a fairly monogamous relationship with my flat for almost 4 years but we're not legally bound. Been out of a serious romantic relationship for close on 3 years.... not sure how I feel about changing that either....
BUT 30 approaches and certain things are pretty much expected. I'm not looking for advice, I think I'm just saying - it's all kinda hectic.