Penguin Love Triangle : Day 88 #100daysofwriting

I went to a penguin rehab/sanctuary with a few friends today. (It's called Sancob). Besides being amazed at the facilities and learning that penguins swallow fish whole... I was struck by their love-lives.

So, they have one permanent resistant penguin who isn't an African Penguin like the others. I'm not going to Google her breed, but she has those long yellow eyebrows.

Anyway, the sanctuary tried to bring in a husband for her - cos penguins are all about life commitments - and they didn't click at all! Instead she fell in love with a married penguin and now stands outside his nest  declaring her love and pissing off his wife... yeah dude... it is way to close to home!

I hardly ever fall for the guy I'm supposed to love... It's always the unavailable and unsuitable. I don't think an arranged marriage would work for me either. I can't believe I'm just like that lonely penguin!

On a side note... we learned that a local wild penguin colony has a problem with infidelity... throw in rumours of homosexuality... oh and the only way to gender identify a penguin is with a blood test... I think we have the makings of a very indentifiable reality show on our hands.

I am starting to wonder if my spirit animal is a penguin...

Why does my cat hate me? : Day 76 #100daysofwriting

This isn't a profound veterinary article, this is me lamenting Arizona's recent neglect of me.

It is cold. I am needy. She sleeps on a cushion next to my bed now instead of with me. Right this minute I can hear her calling for Brother. What did I do?

I was between smart phones for a week and didn't post any photos of her... could it be that?

I've fed, watered, scooped and stroked. I spent many hours in bed being snuggly. Yet I'm neglected.

I came home tonight needing love and she refused to greet me. She'd rather lurk out in the cold than in my warm embrace.

She is almost two years old, could this be teenage rebellion? She would rather hang with her cool uncle than with her old clingy mom? *weeping*

Maybe I should have listened when she said she didn't want to watch reruns of Cougar Town. I tried to explain that second season of Stalker wasn't out yet. Is there even a second season?

Short of rubbing catnip behind my ears... I'm at my wits end... and perhaps exaggerating greatly...

Arizona! Love me again!

Heady Practice : Day 5 #100daysofwriting

The air is heavy
With incense
Promises
And little flecks of memory

I see you
Bending
Stretching
The arch of your neck
So familiar to me
Yet light years from my touch

I forget to breathe
Inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale
Our synchronized worship
Of the hidden sun
Brings us close
And then away

Muscle moves bone
In smooth flow
I'm out of breath
Can't touch my toes
You are chiseled perfection
You are river
You are memory
Of sunshine love
Of forever promises
Of youth

I bow with you
Hide my ruby cheeks
And just remember
To forget.

Love & Loneliness #100creativedays Day 26

Love... is multifaceted. Yes. That's it... Many faced. I love The Squire. I love my parents. I love my kitten, Arizona. I love flings (the chips, not the slutty kind). I love the smell of almond shower oil...
Some of these things love me back, one at least sees me as a source of food and affection, and the others... Well they're things! Do I love them directly proportionally to how much love I get back, well, yes and no. Family - yes, we have family love for each other. Arizona - who knows? She's getting very cuddly with The Squire, and I'm sure I love her too much. Chips and bath products... Let's call that an unrequited love, where I get all the fuzzy feelings and their creators get richer.

Unrequited love... Now there a whole big topic of its own. I had a huge crushing pile of unrequited puppylove for my high school crush for about... Well, let's say up until his wedding this year? The passion was strong within me for a good 6 years or so, with occasional pangs that grew into a nostalgic fondness over the years. This really was unrequited and never consummated.
What about that tiny torch that I'm carrying now? For someone who is a dear, dear friend but not at all meant for me? Honestly, there are two that come to mind. The one is homosexual and the other loves another. I did say "tiny" torch, so calm down... It's probably not YOU.

This brings me to loneliness, and how many people don't actually understand how loneliness is multifaceted too. I hate admitting to feeling lonely. My kind of loneliness can cover me while I'm in the middle of a crowd. I can be at a party with all my friends and feel completely lonely. Is it a symptom of depression or my own selfish need for affirming attention? Who knows, but often pulling myself out of a social situation makes me feel less lonely!

There's the loneliness of literally being alone because you're shut off from the world or someone important is gone and there's a hole in your life - this seems more socially accepted somehow.

There's also that loneliness that comes in the middle of the night. It's dark and ugly and whispers nasty lies in your ears. It's the loneliness of singleness, that tries to convince you that together is better than alone. Sometimes this loneliness creeps along to parties, or shopping centres. Where strangers stroke your carb-swollen belly and think you're part of a breeding couple. Or couples slink around doing couple things like holding hands and smiling smugly. All the while the lonely lies try to convince you that you'll never be one of them...

Ok, this got dark, I feel like Gollum. The point that I'm trying to make is, that company and love are relative. You can't tell someone not to feel lonely or unloved just because they are surrounded by people. They need to find the love and fulfilment by themselves, in a higher power or purpose. So stop being flippant. Not all love or loneliness is equal, and it is all quite real when you're feeling it.