Sleeping Beauty : Day 91 #100daysofwriting

Sleep.
I have a very weird relationship with sleep. I struggle to get to sleep at night and struggle to wake up in the morning. I can sleep all day and afternoon naps are parr for the course on weekend afternoons.

Getting to sleep at night is pretty much a fight with my inner toddler. I seem afraid of missing out on life. Sometimes I get stuck into a book or series. Sometimes I'm really anxious. Sometimes it's too bright in my room. Or I'm cold. Or Arizona is restless. When I drank I usually had wine before bed so sleep came easily.

Waking up seems to be hindered by the same stubbornness. A reluctance to face the world and my responsibilities. It wasn't always like this. Obviously earlier to bed would help!

Sometimes I totally crash and have a bed day - I can sleep the whole day when I'm run down. I'm not sure how healthy it is because I usually wake up dehydrated and starving. Arizona loves these days! I'm really hankering for a bed day soon! The irony is it is never too bright for day sleeping, it only matters at night! Naps I suppose are mini versions and are usually a few hours long.

I really do enjoy sleeping and usually dream, so I don't know why I am so stubborn about going to sleep! I'm very determined to improve in this area! Wish me luck!

wish I could just... get away

I've been exhausted for weeks. People tell me to exercise... Do they realise that sometimes I huffle puff up the stairs?

I've been doing a Boundaries Course at church - they talk of pleasing people and not being able to say no. Am I pleasing people? I feel like I'm trying to keep my head above water most of the time.

I've tried to nap on weekend days, it helps some what, but I often wake up all sweaty-headachy-grumpy like a toddler. I oversleep most mornings, but struggle to get to sleep at night. There's too much light at night, I'm hot or cold, my body hurts, my mind whirls... No issues with falling asleep again after my alarm goes though!!! Seriously Sharon???
Brother shouts at me most mornings as he leaves with daily precision at 06:40 hours.
This morning I overslept and missed my early "meeting" - now I'm trying to juggle my day to allow for a later one... Why? Why? Why?

Where is my energy? I eat well, I've even been eating more to satisfy my body. I take my vitamins. How can I still be adjusting to sobriety, it's been 50 days? Am I adjusting to my meds? Its been almost 9 weeks.

Let's not even talk about how I'm so tired that I can't focus at work in the afternoons and end up catching up at home? Its a vicious cycle. My body hurts. I'm cross with myself.

I'm going to snooze a little now... Hopefully just for 30 mins...