At 14 I was told that I’d not only need braces, but I’d need headgear too! Oh the horror! Mom promised that I’d get one of those pixie style beanies that were so en vogue in the 90’s. Alas! No headgear, so I didn’t get the beanie. I still hold on to the disappointment.
In my early 20’s I did a free eye test at the gym – the results were grim, I urgently needed to see an optometrist, as I was clearly living in a blurred world. Again, the horror, until I spotted a gorgeous pair of blue frames as I waited for my proper assessment. Did I need glasses after all? No. Again… I’m still holding onto the disappointment of not getting those glasses.
Recently with my jaw issues I’d resolved myself to jaw surgery and weeks of recovery, where sustained on liquidised food I’d get svelte and get lots of presents. No, instead I wear a sexy gum guard to bed. How can I be disappointed? I’m clearly insane!
Today I had a free eye test again, and like before I’m diagnosed with all manner of ocular drama. I really don’t trust those machines, I couldn’t get my chin into the correct spot, so I’ve booked a proper appointment. I’m trying very hard not to dream of tortoise shell nerd glasses…. It’s not like I can afford glasses, I’ve only recently forked out for an overpriced gum guard. The insanity must stop…
xxx
