Honestly? Day 92 #100daysofwriting

Honestly today was hard. The pain in my neck, shoulders and jaw are extreme. It actually runs right down my back and into my bum. I hate complaining because I know people live with worse pain. How I don't know.

I went to physio yesterday and still feel bruised. I know I just need to let my body heal but I feel like my muscles are in fire. My head hurts so much that noises smash against my temples.

I'm lying in bed now wondering if I should move my clock into the lounge. Thank goodness the kid upstairs has stopped running laps.

I'm sore and tired, plus on a mission to develop healthy sleep patterns... so good night x

DEFY : Day 90 #100daysofwriting

I'm writing my own mantra here... Do Everything For You. Yes... DEFY.

 

This isn't about being selfish, it's about making changes for you, not for anyone else. I stopped drinking to save my own life. I need to eat well and exercise for my own well being - not to conform to someone elses ideal for me.

 

I've got into a stage of neglecting myself. I got stressed and didn't exercise - now I'm in horrible pain with my neck, shoulders and jaw... again. My teeth actually ache. I've booked a session with my physio in the morning to help unclench the knots I've tied.

 

I was directed to an article in the Dailymail about the link between stress, tension and breathing. It made so much sense - I breathe short and shallow, sometimes even holding my breath and sighing. It's all terribly unhealthy!

 

I really need to get serious about yoga classes again. It will take some sacrifice and better time management but I'm falling apart without it! It doesn't matter if I look fat or clumsy - I need to breathe, I need to stretch.

 

Hope I can give a positive report back soon!

 

Attention Seeker : Day 14 #100daysofwriting

 

I think it was established quite early on in my life that I love a little drama and attention. I’d never intentionally hurt myself but I’d gladly show off battle scars. I like to go on and on about things.

At 14 I was told that I’d not only need braces, but I’d need headgear too! Oh the horror! Mom promised that I’d get one of those pixie style beanies that were so en vogue in the 90’s. Alas! No headgear, so I didn’t get the beanie. I still hold on to the disappointment.

In my early 20’s I did a free eye test at the gym – the results were grim, I urgently needed to see an optometrist, as I was clearly living in a blurred world. Again, the horror, until I spotted a gorgeous pair of blue frames as I waited for my proper assessment. Did I need glasses after all? No. Again… I’m still holding onto the disappointment of not getting those glasses.

Recently with my jaw issues I’d resolved myself to jaw surgery and weeks of recovery, where sustained on liquidised food I’d get svelte and get lots of presents. No, instead I wear a sexy gum guard to bed. How can I be disappointed? I’m clearly insane!

Today I had a free eye test again, and like before I’m diagnosed with all manner of ocular drama. I really don’t trust those machines, I couldn’t get my chin into the correct spot, so I’ve booked a proper appointment. I’m trying very hard not to dream of tortoise shell nerd glasses…. It’s not like I can afford glasses, I’ve only recently forked out for an overpriced gum guard. The insanity must stop…

 xxx