Blank : Day 75 #100daysofwriting

I'm uninspired and worn out. Even after a long weekend. I suppose I feel broke too so I'm filled with a type of envy towards people who feel like running around and can spend money. It is a bratty entitlement on my part.

I know I'm just in a slump because my cold has dragged on and I've run out of medical aid. Why no more medical aid? Because I got a grind plate made. I can't wear it though because it forces me to be a mouth breather and my runny nose turns into a sore throat. Can I catch a break already?

Suppose I can be grateful that I'm not without food, shelter, clothes and transport. I have a job. Summer will banish the cold... I just need some gratitude and a reality check.

Love and other drugs : Day 33 #100daysofwriting

I arrived pretty late
Black jeans
Angry boots
Wearing your jacket
Mouth full of opinions
Heart full of rage
Pain in my body
Ideas in my brain
You handed me something
To quiet the pain
And listened
While I rattled
And while I raved
Then you hugged me
And sent me on my way.

Mediocre Monday Moan

Time for some philosophical ramblings again… about getting what you think you want and then hating it.

A couple of weeks ago I went on a date with a boy who wanted to hold my hand in public. How sweet? How romantic? No. I felt trapped, stifled and panicked. 

I spent months lusting over a certain style of shoes, now I own those shoes and feel like a fraud if I wear them. They don’t feel like me.

Ok I’m not sure what more I have to say… just thinking about how bratty that is. What I really want versus what is expected of me? I should want to settle down and be sweet? But sometimes I just want the attention without the effort of actually being a nice person. I guess a sense of entitlement comes through. What would make me happy? If someone just handed me the keys to a brand new car? Told me that I never had to work again and could write a book for fun? If I woke up with a flat stomach?

I’m in such a mediocre self-obsessed cloud right now.

Yes, I’m probably thinking too much and being too mean. But goodness me… It’s not always easy to be nice.

Feeling yuck #100creativedays Day 33

This feels ridiculous, I've been staring at a blank screen for about 30 minutes. I feel so queasy. I've probably just over done it this weekend. Not all unhealthy food, just rich, too much fibre, too much strong coffee... My tummy is very angry. I've felt a little dicey most of the weekend. Maybe it's a level of stress too. I definitely think too much, I wonder if I'm even enjoying my life as much as I should?

Time to pass out. I have a busy week ahead, I hope this isn't a "thing" now... Meh. At least I wrote something... right?