Abscess Abacus #100creativedays Day 88

"Click, click, click
I slide the beads and count
The minutes
Hours
Days
Nights
Weeks
Months
Eons
Since
We spoke
I drank
We danced
I ate
We laughed
I cried
Click, click, click
Counting
Counting
How long till
A baby
(Not mine)
A wedding
(Not mine)
A heartbreak
(Not yours)
How long since
I drank
I loved
I cried
We spoke."

Sharon Paine 19.07.14

What am I supposed to do? #100creativedays Day 78

"Things aren't like the movies
My hero got lost
There are no flowers
No free cars
Just debt
And heartache
And wait your turn

I know I should
Just buck up
Shut up
Wake up

Stop dreaming
Stop caring
Stop sharing

Can you believe
How I bleed across
These keys
Across the world

Seriously now
Seriously
When did the magic die?"

Sharon Paine 09.07.14

A very very sad, hurting, crying girl

Elle #100creativedays Day 66

"I wrote his name
On a leaf
And dropped it down the well

I wrote your name
On my heart
And down that hole I fell

You wrote your name
On my skin
And your pride began to swell

You wrote her name
On your heart
And I wailed like a bell."

Sharon Paine 27.06.2014

Dark & Stormy #100creativedays Day 64

"I'm huddled
Hidden
In the dark.

Straining
My eyes
I just make out the outlines
Of my fingers
Silly little fingers
That used to weave
Between your fingers
That used to weave
Stories in the air
Dreams for us
Silly little fingers

Why did I shout?
And stamp
my silly little feet?
Tears rolling down my cheeks
Heart tearing to pieces
Watching you shrug
And leave

Cheeks smeared with tears
Cheeks that you used to stroke
A heart stopped
My heart used to hammer in my chest
All I feel now is a hollow ache
As I think of
My silly little fingers
Weaving stories in the air"

Sharon Paine 25.06.2014

Used To Be #100creativedays Day 36

"You used to be
so familiar to me,
Your voice
Your smell
The way you
twist your mouth
The way you
touch the back of your neck
when you're nervous
The way you
Say my name
The way you walk
So suave walking towards me
And almost funny
Walking away
How passionate you get over a new theory
How you tease me
The way you tap your fingers against your mug
The way shirts drape over your shoulders
Your hands
Your ears
Your heartbeat"

Sharon Paine 28.05.2014

Late Night Wisdom

"Life will break you.
Nobody can protect you from that, and living alone won't either, for solitude will also break you with its yearning.
You have to love. You have to feel.
It is the reason you are here on earth. You are here to risk your heart. You are here to be swallowed up.

And when it happens that you are broken, or betrayed, or left, or hurt, or death brushes near, let yourself sit by an apple tree and listen to the apples falling all around you in heaps, wasting their sweetness.

Tell yourself you tasted as many as you could."

-Louise Erdrich