Penguin Love Triangle : Day 88 #100daysofwriting

I went to a penguin rehab/sanctuary with a few friends today. (It's called Sancob). Besides being amazed at the facilities and learning that penguins swallow fish whole... I was struck by their love-lives.

So, they have one permanent resistant penguin who isn't an African Penguin like the others. I'm not going to Google her breed, but she has those long yellow eyebrows.

Anyway, the sanctuary tried to bring in a husband for her - cos penguins are all about life commitments - and they didn't click at all! Instead she fell in love with a married penguin and now stands outside his nest  declaring her love and pissing off his wife... yeah dude... it is way to close to home!

I hardly ever fall for the guy I'm supposed to love... It's always the unavailable and unsuitable. I don't think an arranged marriage would work for me either. I can't believe I'm just like that lonely penguin!

On a side note... we learned that a local wild penguin colony has a problem with infidelity... throw in rumours of homosexuality... oh and the only way to gender identify a penguin is with a blood test... I think we have the makings of a very indentifiable reality show on our hands.

I am starting to wonder if my spirit animal is a penguin...

Someone There : Day 86 #100daysofwriting

Read my palm
Look at the leaves
Give me something
In which to believe
Beat the drum
Clang the chimes
Tell me I'm not
Completely out of time
Write out your prediction
Swear it in blood
Channel the spirit
Of absolute love

Golden : Day 73 #100daysofwriting

Gold is the summer
Slowly oozing back.
Gold
Fine hairs on my arms
Standing to attention
When gold is hidden by cloud.
Gold rings glint
On searching fingers
Neither promising
Nor committing
Symbol of stolen hedonism.
Gold
The glaze of bread
The drink that froths
Forbidden fruits
On golden afternoons.
And you
My elusive golden boy.

Rabbit Hole : Day 59 #100daysofwriting

I've always been a little obsessed with Alice in Wonderland. The theme or idea rather than finding myself rereading the two books over and over.

I'd love to be Alice and disappear for a while. However, I have thought of the rabbit hole as a metaphor for addiction and poor judgement!

The more I think about what appeals most, the more I think I need to plan a tea party. I love tea and cake. I love crazy people, rabbits and cats. Did I mention the cake? I love Tweedledum and Tweedledee (still trying to convince my dad and his twin to dress up for me!). I'd like to use proper teacups and saucers. There should be lots of little cakes - not just typical chocolate cake, I want lemon drizzle cupcakes and almond tarts. Oooo and petit fours.

Can I just go and bake now? Gosh, the carb based feast we could have!

Tea from teapots - why don't I constantly have a teapot on my desk? Mugs of tea seem so mainstream.

I'm going off to dream about my tea party... Good night all. X

On a hill : Day 48 #100daysofwriting

Fingers trailing
Against the dark sky
Shadow playing in moonlight
I told you I'd only kiss
On sight of a shooting star
You tricked me with a passing plane
I didn't mind
Fingers trailing
Along insides of elbows
Goosebumps flare with chill
I told you I couldn't love you
You said you had enough
Enough love to compensate
So I pretended to see a shooting star
And kissed you back
Fingers linked in quiet prayer
That the night would never end
I think I did fall for you
Under the stars
On a hill.

la la love : Day 45 #100daysofwriting

I'm having such a lovely weekend!

Celebrated two dear friend's birthdays with dinner over the last two evenings. Both evenings were so special; seeing old friends and making new friends. Stunning conversations with like minded individuals, excellent food, and shelter from the old rainy outdoors. My heart is so full and warm.

I also hung out with one of my favourite creatives and her gorgeous son this morning. So good to catch up and plan a ring that she is going to make for me!

I had lunch fireside with a new friend too. Just as it's great to spend time with people who know all of your secrets and crazy... It's exciting to get to know new people and hear new views on life.

And to snuggle under the covers at the end of both nights with Arizona purring at my feet... What bliss!

Sending you all warm loving vibes.
Xxx

Kickass : Day 43 #100daysofwriting

So... Last night's mini post was a gorgeous frolic in self pity city.

As can be expected; a good sleep, busy day, gym and actually giving a damn about people other than myself, helped. Oh and I moved my furniture around. 

Today was probably "worse" that yesterday, but felt so much better!

I'm really tapping into the good sporty example of certain people in my life. I gymed just a little longer and harder today. I feel like my healthier eating is helping my body and mind.

I found this medicine called "One Day Flu Cure" - which is basically a cinnamon oil suspension - I took it twice on Saturday, and have just popped a dose every morning since. My cold symptoms are greatly suppressed and I have a certain vigor about me. *chuckle*

I've also tried to be there for the people around me. This feels like bragging but it's what our purpose is... Living in community. We should all be "giving a damn" about the person across the office, the street, the world. I think the key is that you help and care but don't carry their burden on your own back. I basically got that advice first thing this morning and it changed my attitude. Look! I just passed it on to you!

OK, sleep time! Hope my positive vibes help you!

My Vibe : Day 39 #100daysofwriting

It is pretty late on a Sunday night to be awake, but I often struggle to fall asleep on a Sunday. This evening I stayed up later on purpose to better prep for the week. I neglected to prepare for this past week and everything felt off kilter. Some are blaming the moon and the proximity of Jupiter - but I do need to admit to dropping the ball last week, and it was havoc.

 

I found this cool quote on Pinterest "your vibe attracts your tribe"

 

I'm mulling it over. Over the last 1 and 3/4 years (yes, 21 months today) I've lost some friends and gained many.

 

Losing friends has been a result of differing views, the changes in my life style and quite possibly my increased honesty. I could be pretty shallow at times, and maybe damage was done long ago - maybe my defects of character were more accepted when they could be dismissed as drunken behaviour. News flash - I'm still capable of bad decisions, now I just care more about the results.

 

Anyway - I've been trying to find a sense of self acceptance by appreciating and noticing the people/places/things that make me glad. I enjoy deep conversations with friends and family. I like feeling useful. I helped at a soup kitchen today and it was fun. I like a quiet Friday night. I have amazing friends. I love being sober. I enjoy being organised. I like cooking healthy food for my family.

 

I think we all often focus on who or what we aren't. I just want to be happy with who I am. I like me. I like that being me seems to attract some pretty amazing people and opportunities.

xxx

Love and other drugs : Day 33 #100daysofwriting

I arrived pretty late
Black jeans
Angry boots
Wearing your jacket
Mouth full of opinions
Heart full of rage
Pain in my body
Ideas in my brain
You handed me something
To quiet the pain
And listened
While I rattled
And while I raved
Then you hugged me
And sent me on my way.

L&T : Day 32 #100daysofwriting

I've mulled a lot of world issues around in my head over the last few days and found myself really wanting to publicly respond in some way. I'm also afraid because I can clearly see that certain people close to me might misunderstand. I'm not looking to upset anyone, or attack, but rather remind anyone who reads this of some universal truths.

 

Asked the question: Is there something wrong with the world and what will fix it? I found myself agreeing that there is much wrong with the world. I really do think that love and tolerance are the answer.

 

What would that look like? Well first, promote what you love instead of bashing what you hate. Honestly, people can't go around claiming that another's race, gender, religion, nationality, eating habits and sexuality, are causing them harm.

 

Two adults in love will not hurt another couple in love, if their love is honest, as love needs to be. Cheating and lying are not honest and someone isn't being loved in that equation, so don't even talk about that.

 

Intolerance over someone's choice to fast, shave, meditate, worship, love, draw, sing, write, speak... Where is the love? Where is the tolerance? You need to sort out your own house and figure out why you are so obsessed with your neighbours.

 

Healthy debate is good when both parties are heard. You don't win or lose in a conversation, this isn't a trial. You don't have to agree, you don't need to blame. Just last night I expressed my opinion over something, was heard and my opinion acknowledged, in turn I listened and acknowledged their opinion, I left the conversation with a different perspective.

 

I hate to even ask this, but please don't tell me I'm wrong. I will listen to your perspective, but hold up the principles of love and tolerance against any opinion you have. Love is not lustful, murderous, depraved, and harmful. Yes it can hurt, but it will not harm.

Take Me Down : Day 31 #100daysofwriting

Take me down to the river
Where you first declared your love
Take me down to the river
Where you washed away my tears
Take me down to the river
Where you showed me your heart
Take me down to the river
Down to the river
The river
Where you slowly rowed away.

Treat Yo Self : Day 27 #100daysofwriting

Rain is bucketing down outside, and suddenly remember that someone told me that Wednesday will be cold.

I'm trying to fill my body with vitamins, my mind with positive philosophies and I'm trying to flex my creative muscles. I supposed I'm not trying, I'm doing.

I also realised lately that I was slipping into a lazy slump with girly stuff - like nails, shaving, moisturising, and fussing with hair. Don't get me wrong, my hair is always clean, nails short, no one is seeing my legs in Winter, nor my toes, I'm clean, clothes are usually on point.... But no fanciness around self care.

I'm not a girly girl, although I've gone through some make up, heels and dangly earring phases. So what is going on now? I'm starting to feel like a tomboy... Or am I lazy?

Anyway - since being ill I've upped the pretty - surprise surprise it doesn't take much time to make a little effort and I'm feeling better for it. I suppose its a type of love towards yourself? Caring for yourself?

People told me I looked pretty today... Was it the eyeliner? The scarf? Or maybe because I actually showed myself some love? I think this could be the beginning of a great romance :)

Princess Me : Day 25 #100daysofwriting

I really got lucky in the sibling stakes. My brother is really awesome.

 

We've both been ill this weekend but I definitely got hit worse. I haven't been this sick in a long time. We did our best at looking after each other - taking turns to get supplies, lifting the maid, hanging laundry (don't even ask why the maid wasn't involved with laundry) - and made it through.

 

Today we'd arranged family lunch out to celebrate Mom's birthday, which is tomorrow. It is Father's Day too. Getting up and dressed in something more stylish than leggings and a hoody was really not easy for me. I felt bloated and pale. Nothing felt right on my body. Brother came to the rescue and basically made me feel like my insanity was justified. He just listened as I lamented that my eye shadow clashed with my shirt and that I looked like a man.

 

He managed to get me out of the flat feeling vaguely attractive and munching rescue remedy. Who gets social anxiety about a family lunch? My family is actually lovely.

 

Of course the restaurant lost our booking... But found us a table. Then came the mammoth task of deciding what to eat after three days of bland food. I actually teared up and the waiter got a little worried. My family took the insanity in their stride and I ate more rescue tablets.

 

Lunch was great and we even got a chance to get some sun. Then I gratefully crawled back into bed and napped.

 

Anyway, while Brother was out at church I woke up and managed to cook some food for lunches, washed up and made myself a juice. I think I'm much better now. The whole cook and clean routine is actually my usual test the night before I go back to work post illness.

 

Anyway, glad I have an awesome brother and lovely parents.

 

Storm Chaser : Day 22 #100daysofwriting

Do you remember
Chasing storms
Hand in hand
Facing waves
Clinging to railings

I remember
How you held me
Afraid I'd be washed away
With you I was fearless
I wanted to be in the storm
Hands white with cold
Squealing as a wave crashed
Your arms pulling me
Your chest warming me

We were free
And I miss that.

Happy : Day 17 #100daysofwriting

I'm exhausted but happy. Really don't have the brain power to write a proper post... Had a lovely social day that was wonderfully rounded up with a birthday dinner. So many hugs, deep conversations and even a bloody decent massage. Anyway, it really filled my tank with love.

Xxx

Throw Back Thursday - some of my favourites #TBT

new-name-new-look-new-focus - Love my Strawberry Man story

faux-romance

what-is-love

Heady Practice : Day 5 #100daysofwriting

The air is heavy
With incense
Promises
And little flecks of memory

I see you
Bending
Stretching
The arch of your neck
So familiar to me
Yet light years from my touch

I forget to breathe
Inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale
Our synchronized worship
Of the hidden sun
Brings us close
And then away

Muscle moves bone
In smooth flow
I'm out of breath
Can't touch my toes
You are chiseled perfection
You are river
You are memory
Of sunshine love
Of forever promises
Of youth

I bow with you
Hide my ruby cheeks
And just remember
To forget.

Winter Lover : Day 4 #100daysofwriting

Hi all
 

My earlier attempt at a post was awful and it deleted rather easily... So here are some of my late night musings.
 

Winter time is good. I think of layered clothing that narrows the gap between hipster chic and hobo. We all end up looking like little hobos in Winter. You disagree? Look at yourself in your over sized beanie, are those fingerless gloves and a long trailing scarf? In cold desperation did you ignore all concept of matching? Your only option is to stick to neutrals - grey, black, brown, cream, navy and a pop of burgundy. Really, now we all match - uniform hobos.
 

The next aspect is romance. I'm even guilty of sniffing out affection in the cold months. Romance is built next to fires, with layers hiding your hot cross bun rolls - am I the only one who feels that Easter marks the end of carb restrictions? In the Southern Hemisphere at least, I would imagine that Thanksgiving rings in the end of diets in the North?
 

The prospect of romance may even encourage you to brave the rain to hit a yoga class. You may even feel compelled to tame your leg hair in their undercover months and therefore making the Springtime grooming less of a lawn mower affair.
 

Is this post about to romance? Goodness me. Old flames and discarded Summer Loving Prospects are popping out of the woodwork at a rate directly proportional to the dipping mercury. What to do? I've pledged allegiance to rusks for the last two months and I'm starting to look like a traditional Ouma Buttermilk rusk - pale and chunky. Mmmm, I actually sound like the perfect thing to curl up on the couch with; blankie and cuppa as my back up singers. Could I, with my rusk-like physique be the perfect winter companion?
 

(I need to break into a grin here)
 

I will keep you updated on my search for the perfect winter companion - don't be surprised it just turns out to be Arizona.

xxx

Free Play : Day 3 #100daysofwriting

In a way I shouldn't even address the fact that sometimes I write dark, twisted, sad things. I'm writing, expressing, twisting words and enjoying it. I have frustration in my body, mind and soul - I do not have romance... So it would be contrived to write a love poem. I am tired of the romancing of love. Love songs sound hollow. Am I depressed? No. I'm just not in a romantic dream world. Things around me are not miserable, but they are hard and practical. Pain and exhaustion sit on my shoulders.

But to please some people I will now attempt a nice poem, although not in iambic pentameter.

NICE POEM

A little frog
Sits upon a log
Contemplating love
And the sky above

The rolling fog
Covers his bog
And hides the dove
His symbol of love

Now little frog
From the bog
Has lost his love
The gorgeous dove

OK I tried, it still came out dark.

Curiouser & Curiouser

http://fc07.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2010/248/6/4/curiouser_and_curiouser____by_lostcharms-d2y36c8.jpg

 

Excuse me... did you send me this extremely generous Valentine gift?

 

I got a delivery today... a picnic basket for two, with chocolates and a teddy in a heart emblazed jersey.

 

I am thrilled - because someone loves me an awful amount.

I am intrigued - because no one will own up to it.

I am scared - because well... someone loves me and I don't know who.

 

Shut up before you tell me lots of people love me, value me, etc etc. This is pretty huge.... If you're reading this Dear Secret Admirer... Thank you VERY much... and please tell me who you are by Sunday... I mean seriously? You must know me well to know I love Owls, picnics, chocolate and bears... I've wanted a wicker picnic basket for years. You really spoilt me.

 

So much for Hellentine's Day hey?

 

xoxox

 

Oh, here's a photo of the basket...