Chatter #100creativedays Day 39

I'm in bed, with hot chocolate and a slab of fruit 'n nut chocolate within hands reach, hot water bottle against my tummy, kitten on my feet...

I am so happy and snug. Some days, like today, I feel so cold, hungry, tired and grumpy... This really seems like the cure :)

I'm leaving you with my cure, I advise all local friends to follow suit.

xxx

An addict, alone, in a bar #100creativedays Day 38

"I'm sitting on the edge of a ledge.
An addict
In a bar
On Long Street
I've had the kind of day
That people claim a drink will fix
But for me it won't fix anything
A dealer asked me what I was looking for
I said "my brother"
Now as I sit alone
The smell of second hand bourbon
Strong in the air
Bono tells me
that he still hasn't found what he's looking for
Man
If Bono hasn't found it
How am I supposed to?
I am strong though
Brother made sure that I was sturdy
On my feet
Determined of mind
I am loved
I am saved
That's how I can sit here
An addict
In a bar
On Long St
Alone
And
Determinedly sober."

Sharon Paine 30.05.2014 (34 weeks sober)

Sharona's Make It Better Curry #100creativedays Day 37

It was one of those days...

I wore horrible trousers - loose at the waist and toit at the thigh... Leaving me waddling around like Justin Bieber with a poo in his nappy.

I'm also trying to leave my hair loose, but by the end of the day I wanted to shave my head... How does anyone maneuver with a handbag and laptop bag with a flowing mane over their shoulders?
I pulled my own hair waaaay too many times today.

Then the normal stuff of cold weather, hungry tummies, car issues, nagging people, money worries, a huge angry pimple... Blah blah blah.

As soon as I got home I tied my hair up, got rid of the horrible trousers, whisked off the strapless bra that had been sagging all day (sorry, didn't mention that before)... Once I was clad in the pj pants, uggs and a huge hoodie... I felt human again.

Then dinner. The Squire was wrestling with a broken down car and I'd promised him Nandos... But our resident Nandos is under renovation. Now in my snuggle uniform I had no intention of hitting Spar... So I needed to make a plan. I decided to attempt a chicken curry... It came out soooo well!!! Squire was very very impressed!

So how did I do it?

I had ready grilled chicken breasts (with Dukan we usually have cooked chicken handy), so I just chopped them roughly into chunks. Chunks got a light fry in a blob of margarine just to brown them, a squirt of honey for a bit of caramelized flavour. Then I liberally added: smoked paprika (YES PLEASE), curry powder, cayenne pepper, rosemary and cinnamon. Once beautifully coated in flavour, I added some plain yoghurt and let it simmer into a gorgeous curry sauce.

I might have added some chutney, coriander and a few other Indian spices had I had them handy.

You could totally add onion, carrots, chickpeas etc. Serve with papadums, pita, rice... Or just on it's own for a Dukan protein friendly dinner!

And I'm claiming double creative points for inventing a recipe and writing about it!

Cat Post

Used To Be #100creativedays Day 36

"You used to be
so familiar to me,
Your voice
Your smell
The way you
twist your mouth
The way you
touch the back of your neck
when you're nervous
The way you
Say my name
The way you walk
So suave walking towards me
And almost funny
Walking away
How passionate you get over a new theory
How you tease me
The way you tap your fingers against your mug
The way shirts drape over your shoulders
Your hands
Your ears
Your heartbeat"

Sharon Paine 28.05.2014

Why I don't want to date you #100creativedays Day 35

Close on the heels of yesterday's post... I ask you, what do you bring to the table?

Again... I've rubbed shoulders not only with the illiterate, but the down-right-inappropriate. This might sound horrifically judgmental, but why would I, a 31 year old with property and 10 pensionable years of work under my very stylish belt, want to date a 19 year old Butlers Delivery Boy? I did that when I was 19 and it was beneath me... Ok, ok, the particular guy was doing that as his JOB, not as pocket money while studying Rocket Science.

But back to present Butler, yes, he found me online. His reply to "we're not in the same life stage" was met with "I want to get married and have kids too!" - aw, bless... No. Judging from his photos, Butlers doesn't pay enough for him to buy a shirt let alone nappies.

The notion of a man supporting a woman 100% financially is seen as old fashioned... How do we see a woman supporting a man 100% financially? Not fashionable... As in, a woman would have no money for fashion... I fail to see the draw card...

Then we get the guy who at close to 40, does not own a car for some hippy reason - he rides a bicycle, and doesn't really like to be more than 500m from his home. His idea of a first date is "come over and cuddle on the couch" - eeep, NO.

I have no intention of being the primary chauffeur. No. Been there, done that, had my driving criticized within an inch of my sanity...

The men with cars and property seem to be old enough to be my dad - I do not want step children old enough to have matriculated with me!

Whilst still a vegetarian I went on a few dates with a guy who worked for KFC. Yeah... That made sense.

I do have a checklist of sorts, I don't deny it, I think it's important. Surely a tall, Christian, early 30s, car owning, job having, intelligent, single, straight man exists in Cape Town? Oh and please let him be sort of attractive...

Please Don't Date Me #100creativedays Day 34

I've dabbled in my fair share on Online Dating, dated a man or two based purely on his biceps, and at least one foreigner.

Ok, foreigner aside... Spell check much?
I am not a 12 year old girl, you are not a 12 year old girl, why write messages to me in the broken excuse for English that is "sms\chat\whatsapp speak"?

No, I do not want to "chat nawty"... with that spelling... I do not want to communicate with you at all! What? You reply with "thort u kewl"

I once went on a date with a guy who besides being a stingy tipper, sent me this joke (spelling as is):

"Wot did the pencil say to the cumpus? Make the sirkle bigger"

Every fibre of my being screams. Is it THAT difficult to spell correctly? To throw a logical sentence together?

there vs their
your vs you're
practice vs practise (ok, lesser known)

I understand small mistakes: sometimes we type too fast, on the run, drunk, half asleep... But if you're completely incapable, in this age of spell check and autocorrect... Please just go... This girl sure as heck ain't interested!

"If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get spell check..."

Feeling yuck #100creativedays Day 33

This feels ridiculous, I've been staring at a blank screen for about 30 minutes. I feel so queasy. I've probably just over done it this weekend. Not all unhealthy food, just rich, too much fibre, too much strong coffee... My tummy is very angry. I've felt a little dicey most of the weekend. Maybe it's a level of stress too. I definitely think too much, I wonder if I'm even enjoying my life as much as I should?

Time to pass out. I have a busy week ahead, I hope this isn't a "thing" now... Meh. At least I wrote something... right?

Addiction #100creativedays Day 32

I admit my addictive personality, I must say I always dismissed it as a concept because I didn't get into smoking or feel the need to try weed more than a few times. I was obviously blind to the real addictions that had already taken hold.

As with all addictions, mine centre on escaping situations and escaping my feelings, escaping my common sense, a longing for distraction, comfort and affirmation. I used to drink, like a lot, for all of the above reasons. I used to claim that I was just classy and appreciated wine... But I used to enjoy the oblivion I could achieve, the confidence I could fake. I used it to hide and to lie. Alcohol needed to be weeded right out of my garden in order for me to thrive spiritually, the lies were too much for me.

The other three addictions are the kind of things that need to be reined in, or they will destroy me. Food, men and shopping.

Food will not only make me fat, but ill if I abuse it. I get a very short lived comfort from carbs and chocolate. I mostly just feel ill.

Men. Well... Longing after the wrong ones, taking things said in anger to heart, putting too much value in the attention and affirmation of men. I find that without alcohol... I have very little tolerance of idiots... This doesn't bode well in dating.

Shopping... Well spending and spending on things is unhealthy. Cupboards full of clothes, the temporary high, the tokens of status. It's so empty. I've totally embraced budgeting and feel freedom already.

I feel off kilter, and my addict is needy today... I needed to just acknowledge in order to put her in her place. I ain't got the time for empty solutions... I'm going to face my dragons face on.

Xxx

Too Much #100creativedays Day 31

It's been a long day, with lots of admin.

I did more work on noteddotcom@blogspot.com, and will claim that as a chunk of creativity for the day.

I guess my life would be more streamline with some extra prep. I babysat tonight, and really should have had my Biblestudy homework with me and my internet doggle. I had neither and ended up staying up much too late catching up on homework and messing with Noted.

I'm pretty tired.

I also drank too much this evening... I went on a real bender with the lime 'n soda's - I finished 2 litres of soda water... I can't settle in bed now... Yeah, yeah, #TMI #overshare well I say #soberproblems

Noted - a work in progress #100creativedays Day 30

Inspiration hit today, maybe because my sobriety is going well, to start a new blog! Nothing time consuming, just a source of inspiring quotes and tumblr stuff. Mostly because I'm constantly in search of motivation, wisdom and inspiration. My idea is to every so often go crazy with scheduled posts so that I'm literally feeding my own feed with something special and uplifting at least once a day!

Design work and layout come to a halt when I realised that I'd left my power cable at the office.

So here is my work in progress, if you want a sneak peak??

http://noteddotcom.blogspot.com

A Sweet Escape #100creativedays Day 29

I've decided to take a holiday in my mind to my dream life because quite frankly, real life is getting a little too real...

"Dear Lucy

I'm currently sitting on my veranda, watching a gentle breeze nip at my olive trees. I've just got back from riding my newest horse, Phoenix. He's a pinto and looks like he galloped straight out of an old Western. He's such a gentle soul and a very comfortable ride.

I've recently taken to making jam. I've had a few hits and misses, more hits than misses mind you! I managed to make the most delicious lemon and lime marmalade - it's very tart but is amazing on flapjacks. I'm hoping to try my hand at apple-cinnamon jam. I'm finding these recipes in an old family cookbook I found at the manor library. Apparently Heath's grandmother was quite the cook back in the day and known for her passion for invention in the kitchen!

I can't wait for my girls to be old enough to start baking with me. They've just started walking and you can see their distinct personalities coming through. Kaite is definitely more adventurous and I sometimes feel like I should cover the whole house in bubblewrap. Lola seems to be more curious and seems to pick up small skills faster. Lola seems to have inherited Heath's brown curls, while Kaite's hair is blonde and straight but almost vertical most days! I love my little monsters so much. You always said I'd end up with twins.     

I'm managing to write my next novel - I'm not giving anything away but it's worlds apart from my earlier work. The girls have really got into a routine now and I have a great au pair who comes three times a week. Heath also has special "daddy time" scheduled every Sunday afternoon. Motherhood is not easy, but I'm enjoying it so much.

How are your renovations going? I'm in the market for a good contractor - we're planning on converting the attic into a studio for Heath. It's long overdue and will mean that he can work from home some days. I still have my little safe haven in the garden cottage.

Talking about the garden, you should see the size of the azaleas you gave me! Your green thumb magic must have rubbed off on them because they're taking over my garden!

My darling, I must sign off now, but I'll see you next month at your garden party.

All my love
Sharon"

The Question #100creativedays Day 28

I have so much on my mind - not really in a stressed way - more like sage wisdom from good sources. There are things that I'm dying to share with the world, almost too many things.

Maybe I need to act on them before I talk about them? That way I can write \ speak with conviction.

I had an intense conversation with someone tonight. Someone who I connected with a long time ago and then we drifted apart. As we chatted away, I could identify with her journey over the last year, and got so much insight. I'd like to think that she could identify with my journey too.

She's living the dream, by tooth and nail. I admire her strength. She writes and gets paid for it. I write and hide away. Her life is not easy, but she has an enviable freedom. My life is actually reasonably easy but sometimes I feel like I've sold out for comfort, that I've lost something of myself along the way - my passion, my drive.

When it comes to kids: I'm ready to kick off my shoes and climb a tree, in tights and a skirt, to rescue a ball. I'll sit crosslegged on the floor and let sticky hands stroke my face. I genuinely care. I will go the extra mile.

Ok, I had another example, but my mind is totally blank now.

Maybe the dedication that I have to writing, to my challenges, to my sobriety... When will I feel like that about more of my life?

I think you get what I'm saying? I'm too exhausted to think anymore!

Night night all
Xx

You #100creativedays Day 27

"I try
but then
without warning
someone says your name
and it hangs in the air
Salty
Dry
Crackly
as I hold my breath
and look away
sometimes I hold a hand to my chest
just above my heart
as I struggle to hold back
the tears
the flood of memories
the longing for you"

Sharon Paine 19.05.2014

Love & Loneliness #100creativedays Day 26

Love... is multifaceted. Yes. That's it... Many faced. I love The Squire. I love my parents. I love my kitten, Arizona. I love flings (the chips, not the slutty kind). I love the smell of almond shower oil...
Some of these things love me back, one at least sees me as a source of food and affection, and the others... Well they're things! Do I love them directly proportionally to how much love I get back, well, yes and no. Family - yes, we have family love for each other. Arizona - who knows? She's getting very cuddly with The Squire, and I'm sure I love her too much. Chips and bath products... Let's call that an unrequited love, where I get all the fuzzy feelings and their creators get richer.

Unrequited love... Now there a whole big topic of its own. I had a huge crushing pile of unrequited puppylove for my high school crush for about... Well, let's say up until his wedding this year? The passion was strong within me for a good 6 years or so, with occasional pangs that grew into a nostalgic fondness over the years. This really was unrequited and never consummated.
What about that tiny torch that I'm carrying now? For someone who is a dear, dear friend but not at all meant for me? Honestly, there are two that come to mind. The one is homosexual and the other loves another. I did say "tiny" torch, so calm down... It's probably not YOU.

This brings me to loneliness, and how many people don't actually understand how loneliness is multifaceted too. I hate admitting to feeling lonely. My kind of loneliness can cover me while I'm in the middle of a crowd. I can be at a party with all my friends and feel completely lonely. Is it a symptom of depression or my own selfish need for affirming attention? Who knows, but often pulling myself out of a social situation makes me feel less lonely!

There's the loneliness of literally being alone because you're shut off from the world or someone important is gone and there's a hole in your life - this seems more socially accepted somehow.

There's also that loneliness that comes in the middle of the night. It's dark and ugly and whispers nasty lies in your ears. It's the loneliness of singleness, that tries to convince you that together is better than alone. Sometimes this loneliness creeps along to parties, or shopping centres. Where strangers stroke your carb-swollen belly and think you're part of a breeding couple. Or couples slink around doing couple things like holding hands and smiling smugly. All the while the lonely lies try to convince you that you'll never be one of them...

Ok, this got dark, I feel like Gollum. The point that I'm trying to make is, that company and love are relative. You can't tell someone not to feel lonely or unloved just because they are surrounded by people. They need to find the love and fulfilment by themselves, in a higher power or purpose. So stop being flippant. Not all love or loneliness is equal, and it is all quite real when you're feeling it.

Tea Party #100creativedays Day 25

"Hands soft as butter
Reach small pink fingers
Teeth snap
Marzipan
Chocolate
Praline
China thin as paper
Cradle hot milky tea
Lips smack
Meringue
Lemon
Fudge"

Sharon Paine 17.05.2014

Maybe Tomorrow? #100creativedays Day 24

"Maybe Tomorrow
Maybe you'll come and find me
Tomorrow
Maybe this will all make sense
Tomorrow
Maybe the sun will warm our skin
Maybe we'll laugh until our sides ache
Maybe I'll touch your hand
And Tomorrow will turn into Today
Maybe
And Today will never end
And this will all make sense
Today
And laughter will crinkle sun warmed skin
And hand in hand we'll walk
Into
Tomorrow"

Sharon Paine 16.05.2014

A Bedtime Story #100creativedays Day 23

One dark and stormy night, as the wind howled and the rain lashed, a stressed out little princess hid under a tree. How had she come to be outside on such a horrid night? Well this is her tale of woe...

The little princess was heavy hearted, broken hearted and over strained. Her shoulders hurt, her head hurt and her jaw made a weird clicking sound when she tried to eat. She was very weary.

In absolute frustration, she send a decree to all the land, asking for relief of her stressful curse. Many wise people and a few fools sought audience with the little princess. They brought her pills and lotions, they taught her chants, they stuck needles in her shoulders... But she only sighed deeper and felt more forlorn.

Eventually a wrinkly old man came to the kingdom with a scroll. He did not say a word, and just handed the princess the scroll. Upon the scroll was written "reach for the stars".

In desperation, the little princess stood on the edge of her balcony and reached up as high as she could. Truly believing the answer lay in the stars. Suddenly, she felt a mighty shove and fell off the balcony. She landed in a crumpled heap in a puddle, and dragged herself to the shelter of a nearby tree.

Looking up to the balcony, she saw the old man, and he screeched at her "now you REALLY have something to be miserable about you silly little bitch"

THE END

Home #100creativedays Day 22

My day came crashing down around me towards the end. My head swum with images of suffocating dark water... Very attractive dark water with greens, teals and blues... And a disturbing little orange fish... like Nemo... who kept darting away from my grasp.

Then I came home, and I pressed my lips to Arizona's dark fur, and The Squire let me lament, and then he put his arms around me and told me that I can't expect other people to understand. He understands though.

Now, post shower, cuddled up in pjs... I can breathe. And sleep.
Oh, how I will sleep.

I remember long afternoons #100creativedays Day 21

"I remember long afternoons
Spent with you
Counting freckles
Making plans
Heads close together
Finger intertwined
Secrets told under the trees
Words whisked away by wind
I remember our awkward first kiss
Like a little butterfly
Eyes closed
Hearts pounding
I remember long afternoons
Spent with you"

Sharon Paine 13.05.2014

A dreadfully boring post #100creativedays Day 20

"I hope you will go out and let stories, that is life, happen to you, and that you will work with these stories… water them with your blood and tears and your laughter till they bloom, till you yourself burst into bloom."
- Clarissa Pinkola Estés

I've had a weird virus since Saturday, it's so extremely boring, this is the second time I've caught it this year. It's like flu, without the snot... So it's just nausea, dizziness, headache, aches and weakness. Am I the only person who prefers illness with snot or vomit? Anyway, this isn't about my virus.

Being stuck in bed, with so little energy that my heart pounds when I walk to the bathroom, has made me grumpy, complacent and down-right selfish. I feel let down by my body. I feel so irrational in my expectations of myself, of other people. Like a Prince Charming will come and make me feel loved and happy? That someone will turn up with flowers and soup? That I am surely wasting away in my bed. Then I start thinking about all the things I want to do, all the things I haven't done, that my life is empty and boring. Why do I feel so bored? It is because I physically can't do much now? I'm such a drama queen...

Ok, post over... I'll try be more fun tomorrow. Sick days are just very lonely :(

I wanna be a mama-bear so frikken bad #100creativedays Day 19

As a very close follow up to my previous post on family, how much do I need a designer kid on my arm??

TK could be Quinoa's new boyfriend!

If you haven't check her out on Pintrest, go NOW: http://www.pinterest.com/tiffanywbwg/my-imaginary-well-dressed-toddler-daughter/

It is Mothers' Day after all... Where's Arizona... I need to try get a doll's jersey on her...

Family! #100creativedays Day 18

this counts as Saturday's post in the #100creativedays

My sweet little cousin-niece AM turned 1 this week and we celebrated yesterday. My tummy decided to freak out before we even arrived, so I rode a big nausea wave all afternoon and maximised on kid love.

On my mom's side of the family I have 3 boy cousins (men now I supposed!) Who in the space of less than 2 years, have all acquired a kid! I'm loving it, kids equal more family gatherings, equal a chance to play on the floor, they just bring so much good!

TK is the most stylish little boy, 21 months and been breaking hearts since birth. AM, just turned 1, angel face blondie with a naughty smile and infectious giggle. And the little champion AR, born very early and almost 4 months now, she is perfection and I'm hoping her eyes stay blue like her great granny's eyes (happens to be my exact shade too!).

Adore their parents too, especially their mommies who are not my blood but feel like they could be. You know the nightmare of someone being brought into you family or friend group who you can't stand? I gots 99 problems and that ain't one! My cousins have good taste!

Then a little mushy focus on my immediate family - my folks and The Squire. I'm blinking lucky, not just because my mom's been lifting me around like a legend this week, or because Squire turned into a tiny nurse yesterday to look after me, or my dad, the amazing man who seems to have revived my car AGAIN! But I'm blinking lucky.

I am so glad that my family is so close. Even cousins who I barely see and where we're rubbish at communicating. When we're together, we fall in step and it's like we were never apart.

Xxx

Go hug a family member damnit!

Turkey... and all things Turkish #100creativedays Day 17

So, once upon a time, a great love travelled to Turkey for work and spent two months there. He brought me a Starbucks mug.

Years later I touched down in Istanbul for a stopover enroute to London. I'd left winter behind in CT and stepped into a sweltering 27 degrees, at 5am local time! I didn't get to leave the airport to explore, maybe one day I'll go back properly. I can tell you that their Starbucks is expensive!

Then, tonight, I managed to acquire a Turkish admirer... Who was shocked that I was drinking water in a bar. He was quite adorable and followed us to the next bar, his poor friend in tow. What can I say? I thought I'd lost my mojo or capacity to even fancy someone. The attention was sweet. I even feel bad that he won't be able to get hold of me because the number I gave him started with a zero instead of a plus... I was in a hurry... I only realised when I didn't get his misscall.

Home and longing for a huge cup of tea, I grabbed my trusty "big mug" and smiled at the irony... "Turkey" emblazon across it.

The Winter Wait #100creativedays Day 16

"Fingers bent like hooks
Rigid against damp fabric
Frozen with cold
Twisted with resentment

Eyes stare like blades
Half shut against rain
Moist with self-pity
Hard with anger

Legs clamped like vices
Shivering against icy wind
Postured in defiance
Stiff with entitlement"

Sharon Paine 08.05.2014

Yes, this is absolutely about me having to wait twenty minutes for The Squire to fetch me from the station this evening! My car is very dead and I, princess of all things, has had to resort to public transport! The horror!

"Meh" #100creativedays Day 15

I don't even want to write tonight. I have so much on my mind and feel so flat. I don't really know how I feel. Sad? Hungry? Headachy? Worried? Bored? It's a general "meh".

I went on an internet date today... Oooo... And no, I'm not going to start reporting back on these things. It just mattered today. This was the first time that I've gone on a blind date since I lost all that weight. I'm sober now. Wiser, more mature and not at all desperate. It makes for a weird almost surgical approach. Not good! I want FUN.

I'm also three days down on another "Attack Phases" - pure protein to smash the kilos I piled on during my little holiday. It's certainly working, but I'm blatantly depleted, no carbs or sugar left in my body to be attacked. So I hope I start consuming my own body fat tomorrow! (Gross! But you know what I mean?)

I have money on my mind - some ongoing plumbing bs, my car seems dead-dead, and I have a general sense of entitlement that makes me believe that I'd rather splurge money on fun things.

Anyway, think I'll leave this very "meh" post now. It's been a sub par day, tomorrow is a new one :)

Build-A-Man... Yes please! #100creativedays Day 14

 

 

 

 

 

 

I've had the kit to make this awesome skeleton for almost a year, and finally sat down to make him tonight! Well, actually, I was desperately looking for my ID Book so I can vote tomorrow and found him again! Seemed the perfect opportunity to do something extra creative.

It took a few hours in front of the TV, and unfortunately his collar bone broke! But, tadaaaaa

If you want one too or similar, the kits are dirt cheap and available from China Town in Sable Square.

Silly Yoga Rhyme #100creativedays Day 13

"One breath
Up we go
Release it and down
Like so

Muscles stretch
And tension goes
And through my body
Love flows"

Yeah I finally got back on the yoga wagon and maaaan did it feel good. I could feel the stress melt away and a peace come over me :)

I thought of you #100creativedays Day 12

I thought of you
As water burnt into broken skin
As I breathed in steam
I dreamt of you last night
The only reason that you’re on my mind?
Or is it?

Things fell apart today
As rain clambered against my windscreen
As I stifled secret screams
I wished you could save me
The only reason that you’re on my mind?
Or is it?

Doubled over in pain
As water burnt into broken skin
As I breathed in steam
As I stifled secret screams
As things fell apart
I thought of you

Sharon Paine 04/05/2014

 

Insignificant? #100creativedays Day 11

"All that happens means something; nothing you do is ever insignificant." - Aldous Huxley

Sometimes I forget about the things I've achieved, the battles I've fought and the blessings I've received. This isn't supposed to be an emotional ramble, rather just a manifesto of sorts to remind myself that I do manage to be great, creative, loved and brave everyday. Every.Single.Day.

I was beating myself up about the weight I've put on over the last few weeks - too many good times, too much stress, too much temptation! The 18th of May marks a year since the Squire and I launched into our Dukan way of life, and I was lamenting the fact that I am not at my lowest weight. The Squire reminded me that I was still 10kgs lighter than a year ago!

I still feel like a hot stressful mess. I'm afraid of meeting new people and having to explain my sobriety... Close on 7 months of sobriety. I should be proud of myself, not afraid, I've been courageous and the whole thing is a huge testament to God's guidance in my life.

I sometimes feel lonely and long for the loves I've lost. I seem blind to the incredible love and support of friends and family at times. The utter devotion of my sweet Arizona, who right now is snuggled up against my leg on the couch.

Even with this challenge to "be creative" everyday for 100 days, I sell myself short and forget that writing is creative. That it is a gift, that some people can't even compose an sms, let alone write a paragraph. I forget because I just like writing. I forget that a lot of people are not open like I am. That I am brave, not stupid to open myself up. I am honest. I am not a victim.

I am grateful for the people in my life, the people who have crossed my path, all the experiences - even if I want to scrunch up my nose and discard certain experiences - I am grateful that nothing in my life is, nor am I, insignificant.

One Lucky Girl #100creativedays Day 10

 

I'm so lucky and blessed. I get to throw the term "best friend" around very liberally :)

I got to go shopping with my best-friend-flat-mate-brother The Squire this morning, what a legend!

I got to cuddle my small-hairy-best-friend Arizona on the couch this afternoon.

And when I thought things couldn't get better, I had dinner cooked by my best-guy-doctor-foodie-fashion-friend - see the photo!!! Seriously! Surf and turf - soooo nom!! And I got to abuse his uncapped internet :) he also comes with a gorgeous boyfriend, so double the treat :)

Now off to bed with my Arizona

Xxx

#farmroundup #100creativedays Day 4-8

Take nine rowdy adults, add two impressionable kids... and a few catch phrases...

Ben, age 5 " #whyareyousayinghashtagallthetime "

"Everything is awwwwwwwwesome, everything is great when you're part of a teaaaaam"

"Muska-who?" "Muskadel" "Muska-who?" "Muskadel" (every night... like clockwork)

We travelled to The Farm, just outside Three Sisters, on Saturday morning. The first afternoon was rather placid and topped with a braai.

The days that followed are a delicious blur of nutella-bacon-cream-chilli-cheese, wild drives through the veld on the back of the bakkie, motorbikes, horses, slack-line, sun, naps, moths, sunsets, sheep, solar lights, noisy generators and a lot of laughter.

Thanks for a great holiday kids!
xxx

Reflection #100creativedays Day 4-8

Me trying to copy the pro's with the "real" cameras... #sigh

 

The Farm - a few pretty snaps #100creativedays Day 4-8

 

My Little Pony... #100creativedays Day 4-8

 

I'd like to say that I was diligent about writing in my journal every day that I was on The Farm, but I didn't. It become very flowery. I hope this counts as creative, seeing as I clearly didn't take any of these photos myself!

 

I really think I was born to be "horsey". As a little girl I didn't ride, or draw horses, I think I owned one actual "My Little Pony"... oh and a MLP t-shirt when I was 4... I used to pretend to "ride" a horizontal branch of the guava tree. The same branch doubled as a window when the game changed. Maybe my "horsey" potential was only unlocked later in life. I LOVE RIDING. I barely ride. I took every opportunity to ride while on The Farm.

 

The same guy who wowed me with his crazy balance on the slack-line was equally impressed by the ease with which I threw myself on to the back of Inflation (the horse with the green reins, the other one is Casanova)  and rode off without a care. I do take liberties with "threw myself", it was more like ugly scrambling. But damnit, I can trot. And even better, I can make a horse STOP.

 

Definitely need to explore this hobby further...

 

 

 

Beer Can? Beacon? Bacon? #100creativedays Day 4-8

"Say 'Beer can in a British accent"
"Beercan"
"You just said 'bacon' in a Jamacian accent..."

The Beacon marks the highest point on The Farm... how high? We do not know :) The Jamacian Bacon joke was stretched to cover Beacon too.

"The Farm" belongs to my highschool best friend's family and this is the third time that I've been privilaged enough to visit! I snapped a pile of horrid photos on my old point-and-click, but some came out pretty niiiice. We had sun-downers at The Beacon 2 out of 5 nights (or as The Squire would say 40%)

Sunset at The Beacon

#100creativedays Day 9: Why have I kept my love hidden from you?

I start this post full of excuses.

Firstly, my excuse for Days 4-8 being noticeably absent, well I spent the last 6 days in the Karoo, with minimal phone access, let alone internet, so I'll update the blog tomorrow with a few themed posts covering my time on the farm.

Secondly, I have no idea why I haven't done a post on Arizona yet, she is my furry bundle of joy! Born 8 October 2013, she is a week short of 7 months and has been living with me for close on 5 months.

Arizona has the softest fur that I've ever felt on a cat, loves catnip treats, her teddy (filled with nip), chicken and me.

Once she got up on her back legs, waddled towards me and bit me on the nose...

One of her recent favourite games is stealing the kitchen sponge and hiding it around the flat.

Photos courtesy of The Squire - taken this morning to coax me home from the Karoo.

xxx