Love... is multifaceted. Yes. That's it... Many faced. I love The Squire. I love my parents. I love my kitten, Arizona. I love flings (the chips, not the slutty kind). I love the smell of almond shower oil...
Some of these things love me back, one at least sees me as a source of food and affection, and the others... Well they're things! Do I love them directly proportionally to how much love I get back, well, yes and no. Family - yes, we have family love for each other. Arizona - who knows? She's getting very cuddly with The Squire, and I'm sure I love her too much. Chips and bath products... Let's call that an unrequited love, where I get all the fuzzy feelings and their creators get richer.
Unrequited love... Now there a whole big topic of its own. I had a huge crushing pile of unrequited puppylove for my high school crush for about... Well, let's say up until his wedding this year? The passion was strong within me for a good 6 years or so, with occasional pangs that grew into a nostalgic fondness over the years. This really was unrequited and never consummated.
What about that tiny torch that I'm carrying now? For someone who is a dear, dear friend but not at all meant for me? Honestly, there are two that come to mind. The one is homosexual and the other loves another. I did say "tiny" torch, so calm down... It's probably not YOU.
This brings me to loneliness, and how many people don't actually understand how loneliness is multifaceted too. I hate admitting to feeling lonely. My kind of loneliness can cover me while I'm in the middle of a crowd. I can be at a party with all my friends and feel completely lonely. Is it a symptom of depression or my own selfish need for affirming attention? Who knows, but often pulling myself out of a social situation makes me feel less lonely!
There's the loneliness of literally being alone because you're shut off from the world or someone important is gone and there's a hole in your life - this seems more socially accepted somehow.
There's also that loneliness that comes in the middle of the night. It's dark and ugly and whispers nasty lies in your ears. It's the loneliness of singleness, that tries to convince you that together is better than alone. Sometimes this loneliness creeps along to parties, or shopping centres. Where strangers stroke your carb-swollen belly and think you're part of a breeding couple. Or couples slink around doing couple things like holding hands and smiling smugly. All the while the lonely lies try to convince you that you'll never be one of them...
Ok, this got dark, I feel like Gollum. The point that I'm trying to make is, that company and love are relative. You can't tell someone not to feel lonely or unloved just because they are surrounded by people. They need to find the love and fulfilment by themselves, in a higher power or purpose. So stop being flippant. Not all love or loneliness is equal, and it is all quite real when you're feeling it.
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