Bury

People bury treasures. People bury hurts.

"You have always worn your flaws upon your sleeve
And I have always buried them deep beneath the ground
Dig them up; let's finish what we've started
Dig them up, so nothing's left unturned"
- Bastille

Its not easy to squash down emotions without alcohol. I've spent the last 10 and a half months feeling raw. Its hard to keep things buried and it seems like everything I've ever buried is forcing its way out of the ground.

I feel so vulnerable and like so many things and people have the power to hurt me. Especially those people who actually know what is going on with me. Does that seem fair? To be beaten up over and over by people who actually know.

I'm clinging to the people who love me, and to the love and grace that God promises. I know I can weather this storm longer.

If it's within you, pray for me please.

Missing

Mmmm... I'm a real brat when it comes to going to sleep. I have this huge sense that I will miss out on something... What I ask you? A tweet? #FOMO #lame #31yearoldsneedsleepcostimeisntsparingtheirlooks

Anyway. The title actually refers to how accustomed I've become to a nightly vent-slash-poem-slash-story.

All that is on my mind is how I desperately need to drop the sneaky 6 kilos that have casually positioned themselves upon me like a swimming tube and water wings. I don't known where I found the discipline before!!!!

Also on my mind are those people who rudely ignore messages and/or hide away when they've been naughty. (Yes I saw you with your ex at the shops) Or those brilliant passive aggressive people who think that ignoring you will make you go away (dude, I don't want to date you either but you're the one who said "next time" - I'm politely following up).

Maybe these transgressions are on my mind because I'm guilty too. I've literally been plotting for weeks about avoiding someone at a party.

Couldn't human interaction be easier? I've mentioned before how rude we are to each other. I need to tap into my love well again to find tolerance and compassion. Games exhaust me.

Sorry if I have neglected anyone, drop me a message to say you miss me - I will reply - life is so busy, I probably miss you too.

Xxx

"Don't dream it... Be it"

Went to Rocky Horror at The Fugard tonight - it was outstanding! 

I went last year in November with my family and boyfriend at the time. Maybe it was parental presence at a musical with adult content - my ex got rather prudish. I suppose I worried about my parents too - the live show with audience participation encourage is far racier than I remember the movie being! 

The opportunity came up to join a group of friends in seeing this sell out show again. This time I went all out. Our group basically filled a row and everyone of us had gone all out! Being in costume just elevated my enjoyment of the show. Was an amazing night!

I teased my hair, threw on an old black shirt (courtesy of The Squire), tights, boots, with a homemade apron and cap to finish off my Magenta outfit. I rocked the heck put of my costume - and it didn't cost me a cent to make.

In the words of Dr Frank-N-Furter : "Don't dream it, be it"

Next 100 Day Challenge!!

I'm collecting stories and sharing them over the next 100 days!!

Check it all out here: http://hundredconvos.blogspot.com

xxx