DEFY : Day 90 #100daysofwriting

I'm writing my own mantra here... Do Everything For You. Yes... DEFY.

 

This isn't about being selfish, it's about making changes for you, not for anyone else. I stopped drinking to save my own life. I need to eat well and exercise for my own well being - not to conform to someone elses ideal for me.

 

I've got into a stage of neglecting myself. I got stressed and didn't exercise - now I'm in horrible pain with my neck, shoulders and jaw... again. My teeth actually ache. I've booked a session with my physio in the morning to help unclench the knots I've tied.

 

I was directed to an article in the Dailymail about the link between stress, tension and breathing. It made so much sense - I breathe short and shallow, sometimes even holding my breath and sighing. It's all terribly unhealthy!

 

I really need to get serious about yoga classes again. It will take some sacrifice and better time management but I'm falling apart without it! It doesn't matter if I look fat or clumsy - I need to breathe, I need to stretch.

 

Hope I can give a positive report back soon!

 

All Caught Up: Day 79 #100daysofwriting

I'm playing with words with this title - seeing as it is the last of the posts that I needed to catch up on.

The theme of my life lately seems to be stress. I'm not unhappy or screaming. I'm just tired and my tummy hurts. We have a lot going on at work. My dreams are very vivid. I'm working on my myself in relation to my approach to people. Writing everyday is not always a welcomed escape and feels like a chore sometimes. I can't really just vent the same stuff everyday online, I should be a little upbeat, right?

My friends seem to be in the same state, family too. So we all play schedule Tetris to try and shoe horn some social time. Often, even on weekends, I leave the flat in the morning laden with supplies to last me till 10pm - trailing lunchboxes, jackets, sneakers, books, beauty products... the works. I find myself sitting in traffic munching a chicken breast between engagements, or applying mascara and catching up on emails. All very amazing multitasking woman, but I'm drained.

This morning I woke up stressed, so I got into Shavasana (the corpse pose in yoga) and did some deep breathing. I felt it was necessary to pull my duvet over my head. Arizona got very concerned and sat on my chest trying to save me from hyperventilation under the covers. I suppose I tried.

But really, I'm ok. Told a colleague today that I'm too busy to worry about any mistakes I'm making or things I've forgotten - tell me and I will sort it out. I can't stop moving long enough to slip into self pity. I just need a holiday!!!

Come on Summer... the sun always helps!

Decompress : Day 83 #100daysofwriting

Stretch up
Lie down
Twist left
Bend right
Nothing shakes the feeling
Sit up
Lean down
Turn left
Bow right
Nothing releases the tension
Up
Down
Left
Right
Toss
Turn
Twist gently
Bend
Break
Breathe deeply
Nothing shakes the tension

Heady Practice : Day 5 #100daysofwriting

The air is heavy
With incense
Promises
And little flecks of memory

I see you
Bending
Stretching
The arch of your neck
So familiar to me
Yet light years from my touch

I forget to breathe
Inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale
Our synchronized worship
Of the hidden sun
Brings us close
And then away

Muscle moves bone
In smooth flow
I'm out of breath
Can't touch my toes
You are chiseled perfection
You are river
You are memory
Of sunshine love
Of forever promises
Of youth

I bow with you
Hide my ruby cheeks
And just remember
To forget.

Quick Pop of Hope

This was my feeling this morning... but the day seems to have spun out.

I suppose its easier to slouch in the bushes than to stand proud balancing on a sunny branch. It's easier to be complacent and when trying to find healthy balance, our muscles both physical, spiritual and mental strain. 

I pulled and stretched my physical body in yoga last night, exceeding the limits my mind had placed on my body, allowed some calm to descend, opened myself to love and as a result had an emotional break down in the gym change room. It was embarrassing and yet cathartic.

I absolutely believe that our emotions get stuck in between our muscles, like crumbs in between the couch cushions... They itch until we shake them out. 

Balance is beautiful once achieved but not achieved overnight - so I continue trying, stretching and strengthening. Even if it hurts sometimes.

The Ultimate #100creativedays Day 77

Today was tough, dark clouds followed me and twisted my thinking. I'm not entirely sure why. I do have a few serious matters on my mind, decisions to be made, disappointments to let go of, and the constant interference of the people around me. I have had to take some big steps relatively on my own, its been my journey. Its hard to explain the changes to certain people, so I don't try... But then find myself having to explain the decisions I make these days. Can't my decisions simple be mine? Without constant justification?

It was such a relief to get a message from The Squire, telling me that he and Arizona were also counting down till home time. It made my heart glad. I got home, The Squire ordered pizza and I got my yoga on while we waited for the delivery. Healthy stretching, decadent carbs, hot shower and toasty bed, these are the antidote to a noisy world. #bliss

Gym Kitten #100creativedays Day 62

 

This comic basically sums up my late evening. My eating has been out of control, as you know from my carb induced rants. And I seriously needed to make a plan. You wouldn't believe the hotties and gym addicts that I hang out with, I need to match up! This year has flown and before I know it summer will be here!

 

SO! I decided that yoga and pedicure would help me towards getting ready for Summer. I have a few yoga videos, plenty of floor space and my own mat, so yoga at home is great. Except when Arizona decided to pounce at my head and punch me in the ears, just as I was transitioning from Downward Dog to Plank. I perservered, although being chewed on and rubbed against don't really aid relaxation.

 

I feel good as I hop into bed post shower and even managed to reach my toes well enough to paint them a dazzing "Heart to Heart" red. :)

 

Running tomorrow.... yes....

 

 

Silly Yoga Rhyme #100creativedays Day 13

"One breath
Up we go
Release it and down
Like so

Muscles stretch
And tension goes
And through my body
Love flows"

Yeah I finally got back on the yoga wagon and maaaan did it feel good. I could feel the stress melt away and a peace come over me :)

Let the sunshine in...

I get miserable every so often... if anyone took the time to count the days between "grumpies"... yeah, I'm pretty typical.

This week it didn't help that my neck was tense, I have work stress, car stress, money stress.... BLAH BLAH BLAH. Apparently I also don't tell people when I'm getting stressed and it explodes out in a turrent of tears and/or screams... not pretty, and apparently kinda nasty.

So I need to shake off the blues - physically, mentally and spiritually.

I started by a trip to the physio, who stabbed the knots out of me.... and encouraged me to really get back into my yoga, even if I hurt.

So, I'll focus on these mood boostin' moves!

 

Guilt Is Ridiculous

I love writing, but I haven't been writing.
I love reading, but I haven't been reading.

I'm so tired and grumpy this morning.
The sermon from Sunday on "Working" echoes through my head... God doesn't like lazy people.... am I lazy? I can't focus on work.

Is this because I've been consuming protein since Saturday? FOUR DAYS already. Brother and I both dropped 2.5kg in the first two days. Now we sit.... unmoving.... is that why I feel like this?
I got up early and did yoga.... hanging upside down in Downward Dog until I almost fainted.

I've got my playlist ready, To-Do List handy... I'm getting my feelings out now..... cup of tea in hand.... "God make me focus" is my whispered prayer.

Here's the video I tried to do this morning.... I didn't finish it, but I can feel that I worked my legs.... small steps hey?

Stretch....

Have yoga video.... have mat.... do I have the motivation? Determined to find out tomorrow morning!!!