Happiness ; Day 66 #100daysofwriting

On Saturday night, sandwiched between two lovely friends and a cat too, I watched "Hector and the Search for Happiness" - it's a movie, it is life changing. The whole scenario made me pretty happy (and warm). Oh, "Hector" is based on the book by Francois Lelord - which I hope to read in the next few months (feel free to mail me a Takelot voucher....)               
              

Happiness really does seem to be something that we all want, but rarely find - probably because we are greedy and don't recognise it for what it is. I think of happiness as rather a sense of contentment, acceptance of life and it's circumstances. Am I a happy person? Yes, I actually think that I am. I do also live with depression, but as you should know, depression doesn't actually mean sad. And I suppose that happy doesn't actually mean never sad? Is this getting philosophical?

 

I've been very stressed and under pressure with work. I've been run down. BUT I'm not actually unhappy, I am tired and achy, not sad or dissatisfied.

 

Strangely with "happiness" on my mind the last few days, I came across this Brain & Heart cartoon. It really clicked for me - that most of the time we are literally afraid of being happy. Why do we want to deny ourselves happiness? It's not a hedonistic pursuit, it's pure. I've included Hector's findings below too.

 

Go, be happy xoxo

 

Grateful : Day 47 #100daysofwriting

Mid moan session on the treadmill tonight I was told that I'm very ungrateful. I had to admit that my sage cardio partner was right.

I don't want to do the job that I'm blessed to even have, with a company who treat me like family. Why? Because I'm entitled, lazy and ungrateful. (Yikes)

I don't want to be there for certain people in the same way that others have been there for me. Why? Because I'm forgetful, selfish and ungrateful.

I don't want to exercise my amazing body that has everything except tonsils, wisdom teeth and two weird moles. Instead I say mean things about it and fill it with poison when I'm upset. I'm so immature and ungrateful.

I moan that I want more shoes/ more money/ another cat/ a new car/ a boyfriend/ to lose 12kg. Am I grateful and loving towards what I do have?

It wasn't that long ago where I found something to be grateful for every day for 100 days! Maybe I need a reminder. Maybe you will enjoy it too.

la la love : Day 45 #100daysofwriting

I'm having such a lovely weekend!

Celebrated two dear friend's birthdays with dinner over the last two evenings. Both evenings were so special; seeing old friends and making new friends. Stunning conversations with like minded individuals, excellent food, and shelter from the old rainy outdoors. My heart is so full and warm.

I also hung out with one of my favourite creatives and her gorgeous son this morning. So good to catch up and plan a ring that she is going to make for me!

I had lunch fireside with a new friend too. Just as it's great to spend time with people who know all of your secrets and crazy... It's exciting to get to know new people and hear new views on life.

And to snuggle under the covers at the end of both nights with Arizona purring at my feet... What bliss!

Sending you all warm loving vibes.
Xxx

Happy : Day 17 #100daysofwriting

I'm exhausted but happy. Really don't have the brain power to write a proper post... Had a lovely social day that was wonderfully rounded up with a birthday dinner. So many hugs, deep conversations and even a bloody decent massage. Anyway, it really filled my tank with love.

Xxx

Maybe Tomorrow? #100creativedays Day 24

"Maybe Tomorrow
Maybe you'll come and find me
Tomorrow
Maybe this will all make sense
Tomorrow
Maybe the sun will warm our skin
Maybe we'll laugh until our sides ache
Maybe I'll touch your hand
And Tomorrow will turn into Today
Maybe
And Today will never end
And this will all make sense
Today
And laughter will crinkle sun warmed skin
And hand in hand we'll walk
Into
Tomorrow"

Sharon Paine 16.05.2014

Sometimes I need a gentle reminder

I'm quite determined to get on top of the dark cloud that's been looming over my head. I'm looking at my priorities, the things that worry me, and solutions.

I'm trying to do the simple things, like making an appointment with my physio, writing all the good and bad down on paper so I can sort through my thoughts, reading positive literature and following my heart.

I will not be a victim.

Flexing My Emotional Muscles

I woke up much stronger, sleep deprived, but strong...

I'm sharing my vintage-nature-inspired-motivations with you.

Much love, happiness and joy dear reader

Loving more than Friday...

 

I am happy.

I am sober.

I am in love.

I am beautiful.

I am loved.

I am brave.

I am strong.

 

and I'm so blessed and lucky to have you all in my life...

 

*Pic and quote put together by me*

 

 

Back in the saddle... so to speak

I’m sorry if I upset you over the last few days, I’m ok, the clouds are clearing and I’m feeling more positive. I just had to be reminded of some truths and had to make some changes.

I’ve sought the counsel of some wise women in my life, turned to the Bible and commentaries – Beth Moore’s “Breaking Free” and Tim Keller’s “The Freedom of Self-forgetfulness”. Things make more sense in my head. I ran and ran until the good chemicals flooded my brain (5km!) and I decided to stop beating myself up. I feel bad about taking my frustrations and pain out on other people, but I can’t keep flagellating to win their trust and forgiveness… it holds me back. I am not my mistakes, I am not my sins, I am human and I am broken.

As way of report back, I’ve lost just over 14kg to date, and instead of Sober October, I’m having a Sober September. The timing is right given my push to lose the last 6kg and also given my state of mind of late. Alcohol numbs, but it can also magnify the negative thoughts. I need to use other things to help me, good positive things.

I am very honest in this blog, and I hope you will respect me for that. I write so I can get it out, so people will know where I’m at, and also, maybe, someone out there feels the way I do sometimes and my honesty will help them feel less alone.

I don't always feel sad, I'm very self-aware and constantly trying to fight the negative thoughts. Don't worry about me, just love me and trust that I will be ok. Thanks for the love and support.

Here’s to the future – happiness & health

HAPPY Weekend - literally...

 

Long weekend - with a big focus on doing the things that make me happy.

 

So far, on the cards:

friends

wine

wine tasting

natural history museum

playing outside

The White Queen (series)

Game of Thrones (reading)

braai

 

with a good chance of:

art (viewing)

painting

beach walk

market exploring

shopping

Great Expectations (movie)

 

HAPPINESS!