I spoke to a writer friend about my "blog-block"... How I was struggling to even start my first post after all these months. She suggested I just write. Coupled with a new challenge of #100creativedays - today seemed like the day, and the topic would be broad.
I have been sober for 201 days as of today, and just completed #100happydays (more about that in a different post) and my new challenge is to do something creative everyday and post it. Fortunately writing counts in this case, so I'm free to waffle on and essentially find my "writing mojo" again.
On the subject of mojo, I feel like I have a collection of mojo's and most of them have gone missing. I've been single since early January - the break-up hurt more than it should have, my self-esteem took a wild dip and it really didn't help that I was delving into some deep rooted personal issues at that stage of my recovery. I still feel raw at times. It sucks when you can admit that you actually screwed up and there is no fixing it. Maybe this is why I couldn't write for months, I was feeling too much. I'd like to say I've been 90% mature about it and 10% a screaming toddler. But I live on, albeit jaded.
My weight took a smack over the festive season, I gained 4kgs and took months to wiggle it down again... Then in the course of 5 weeks I attended 4 weddings, my dad turned 60 (SO MUCH CAKE) and, well, Easter happened. I hit the carb and sugar train so hard and the 4 extra kgs came back. I feel a little stubborn about wiggling them away again... It's almost winter you know!!
Work, phew... TEN YEARS with the same company and I seem to have hit a wall mentally. Things are improving but I always live with the fear that complacency is indicative of depression, and I'd really like to think I'm taking steps to sort my $#1+ out!!! Golly... Someone give me a break on the emo vibes already!
On a positive note, assuming I haven't lost you already... I do have my sober-party-mojo back, some male attention (wrong males though!), been told I look skinny twice today, and that my boss really believes in me! SO, maybe I need to just slip off my doom 'n gloom glasses and embrace life?'Nuff said.xxx
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