Goldilocks & The Hangry B*tch

Me? Grumpy?
When I'm hungry?
I'm not a toddler... oh but I am. For years it's been no secret to my family (and friends) that if Sharon is hungry, thirsty, tired and or needs the toilet... you best press yourself against a wall and throw a muffin in the direction of the bathroom.

I've been a little grumpy this week - a combination of earlier mornings and better eating - mostly under the premise that I am not a child but a grown up capable of punctuality and portion control. My natural state is really antisocial hibernating bear with a life supply of cupcakes within arm's reach... but unfortunately it's more socially acceptable to have a job and to not snarl at people.

The last two days I've had to push out my lunch because of meetings, resulting in me being a little feral if someone tries to greet me, let alone tries to ask me a question. I stare wide eyed, weave dizzily and growl. How do I get SO hungry SO fast - I will feel normal and then want to claw someone to shreds to steal their lunch? I've heard it said that carbs cause that kind of hungry, but I find it more likely when I avoid carbs. In a way I feel all the high protein turns me into a slightly less green version of The Hulk. I'm not really asking for an answer, more thinking aloud.

It's crazy how much basic needs can effect our entire mood. The balance is precarious. We need to be not hot, not cold; not hungry, not full... Where are the Three Bears?

On that note... I need a healthy snack.... mmm Rooibos & Honey yoghurt will hit the spot and help the theme. Sorry again for what I said when I was hungry. xoxo

Curiouser & Curiouser

http://fc07.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2010/248/6/4/curiouser_and_curiouser____by_lostcharms-d2y36c8.jpg

 

Excuse me... did you send me this extremely generous Valentine gift?

 

I got a delivery today... a picnic basket for two, with chocolates and a teddy in a heart emblazed jersey.

 

I am thrilled - because someone loves me an awful amount.

I am intrigued - because no one will own up to it.

I am scared - because well... someone loves me and I don't know who.

 

Shut up before you tell me lots of people love me, value me, etc etc. This is pretty huge.... If you're reading this Dear Secret Admirer... Thank you VERY much... and please tell me who you are by Sunday... I mean seriously? You must know me well to know I love Owls, picnics, chocolate and bears... I've wanted a wicker picnic basket for years. You really spoilt me.

 

So much for Hellentine's Day hey?

 

xoxox

 

Oh, here's a photo of the basket...

 

 

Monday - Life Hacks?

Found this on Pinterest, going to try and implement these great tips and thought you might want to do them too!

Wish I'd seen them last night already, a new start to life this week would have been great. I suppose there's no better time than RIGHT NOW to start implementing better life practices?

All credit to http://fundersandfounders.com/

Hellentines' 2015

Valentines' Day… the degree to which I am anti Valentines' is totally eclipsed by how badly I secretly want to be spoilt rotten. Absolutely a case of “I think the lady doth protest too much”. 

I feel like I’ve been brain washed to accept that the men I associate with aren’t romantic, flowers are expensive and die, no one is going to write me a love letter, holding hands is sweaty, and if someone gives you a back rub you’re going to have to reciprocate so don’t even ask.

Through High School I always had someone to send me a rose – we’d gather in the hall to receive roses sent from the boys’ schools. As far as I remember I usually got at least one, never from an actual admirer through!

At 15 my very first boyfriend broke up with me 6 days before Valentines' Day – after I’d planned a very romantic double date at Laser Quest. I really don’t blame him, I’d been a bit of a bitch, but the injustice of singlehood on Valentines' was horrific.
Fast forward to the Vday when I baked heart shaped biscuits for a boyfriend, with great difficulty because I’d been stabbed in my arm a few days earlier, I don’t think he even got me a card. Then the Valentines' where I cooked a lovely meal and bought my own flowers with grocery money my boyfriend had given me.

Now Hellentine’s 2015 I was going to play wingman at a wedding but the plan has changed. So I tried to make plans with a guy friend who had previously expressed the desire to boycott the whole commercial holiday, but he has plans now. So I sit and wonder if I should spend the day with someone random and I wonder why I even care. I’m vaguely “seeing someone” who I have honestly not seen in almost 2 weeks or spoken to this week – I think I need to categorise him along with the Easter Bunny. I’m absolutely not prepared to ask about the status quo.

Bottomline… why do I care? Why do I want the mushy ridiculousness? Why do I want to punch couples who say they don’t celebrate Valentines’?

(Come on) Let's Go!

I feel like I’m standing on a cliff, looking at a smashed car at the bottom of the valley. Someone who looks just like me has their fingers wrapped around my wrist and pulls me gently away from the scene with the words “Come on… let’s go”.

I thought something might be my way out, my salvation, the answer, the change I’d been waiting for… but it’s not for me. This isn’t about a man. This isn’t even about a car. This is a scheme, a dream, an admittedly cushy escape.

It’s really ok. I don’t need to stand here staring at what might have been. I wasn’t in the dream before it smashed. I’m pretty sure I shoved it off the cliff.

So I close my eyes, listen to “Let’s Go!” by the Smashing Pumpkins, turn and walk away.