Thursday 16 May 2013

Sasko Sam... you best hide yourself....

Dear Devoted Reader

I seem to have been boldly throwing around the word “Dukan”… and now I’m screwed. Totally  screwed…. Don’t sign up for stuff before you have read the fine print with a telescope… I nodded sagely through “no carbs”, “no alcohol”…. And just lost my $h1t over the idea of “NO FRUIT”…. Say whaaaaaaaaat? What about an apple a day? 5-a-day? Ok, I can eat veggies…. Eventually…. But fruit? We’re looking at 3 months sans fruit and only if I can lose at least 15kg in 3 months.

 (I don’t know how long that apple has been sitting on my desk.... but I just inhaled it)

Brother is doing it with me…. And seems very excited about phase 1… which is where we eat ONLY PROTEIN for 5 days…. I was a vegetarian for 5 years…. Meat-only seems positively criminal. But, what’s that? I could lose 5kgs straight off? *mouth forms into a little O shape*

 People say don’t focus on what you can’t have, look…. You can have low fat bacon
 
*sniffs the air* “BACON?”

 And quark…. “What’s QUARK” …. No-one knows, it must be foreign…. *googles*

 “Oh, it’s a soft cheese… we like cheese….”

We have said we will start on Saturday… so I need to go eat a kilo of apples and the Sasko Sam mascot…..




xxx

PS: I know fad diets are totes un-PC, but this one works and it's only a few months of craziness....

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