NEW WEEK, NEW CHANCE TO BE AMAZING

Monday motivation...

It just feels wrong…

Dukan has proved to be surprisingly easy. Side thought, Dr Dukan is lucky to have such a catchy surname…. If I invented an eating plan and called it The Paine Diet…. I doubt I’d have the same cult following.

Over the last nine days, Brother and I have looked at each other a few times and wondered if we really are allowed to eat such deliciousness. We are :)

Lean bacon with fat-free smooth cottage cheese…. OMW

Gojiberry FF yoghurt (we’re allowed gojiberries in an any stage!)

Steak… with ham

Ostrich sausage (no cereals added)

As of today I’ve lost 3.5kg and Brother has lost 4kg. It is not the easiest diet to be on, but it’s also very very user friendly.

Day #7

Whoop whoop! Managed a whole week on ATTACK, so hitting the veg tomorrow!
About 3.3kg down now.... feeling good! Planned a quite night in, so expect some great posts over the next week or so ;)

Quick Thanks

Hey!
Thanks for all the hits yesterday, I'd like to believe that it wasn't just because you thought I might be knocked-up... I don't write this blog for hits, but rather support and for myself, but gosh darn it, it's good to see that people are reading my latest posts, and clicking on older posts too!

Anyway, thanks, you made me smile yesterday.

xoxo

PREGNANT?

Yes, the title is controversial enough to drive people to my blog.
No, I’m not pregnant; I’m just fat – that being the subject of this post.
Yes, people ask me all the time.
Yes, that is very rude.
Yes, but, I do have a big tummy.

  have been on Dukan for 5 days now, and have tried eating plans before. I’ve managed to shift the kilos off over the years, and then pile them back on… usually they bring friends. I am very determined to make this work and have already dropped 3kg to date. I have more energy and the flu symptoms that have bugged me for weeks are gone. (yeah, I barely believe what I’m saying either). This all said, I’ve decided to write this post, and hope that you won’t look at me with pity, but rather laugh along with me. It is a funny, yet very hurtful truth about my life.

FACTS
Most of my fat sits on my stomach
I’ve always had weak stomach muscles
Stress, food and even a full bladder bloat me
I’ve been accused of pregnancy at every weight from 60kg to 80kg…. possibly even at 58kgs where I looked like a lollipop. SERIOUSLY?

I will share some gems with you:

@ THE THEME PARK
The ride operator didn’t want to let me on the ride, insisted that I was pregnant and they couldn’t allow it. It was Ratanga, at Monkey Falls, so I just jumped into the boat with them screaming at me and me screaming back “BUT I’M NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT”

@THE BAR # 1 aka ON A DATE #1
I went to play pool with a guy who I fancied, he’s just taken me out for pizza dinner (cue bloat), but I was wearing a sexy flowy top – designed to hide the tummy and show off the boobs…. And we bumped into a friend of his, who wasted no time to ask if I was pregnant… even though I was on like my 2nd date with this guy AND drinking…. *cringe*

@THE BAR #2
I recently went to the Bay Harbour Market with Gorgeous Guy Bestie…. And we order cocktails; GGB looked so confused as the barman asked “One without alcohol, right?”…. And I melted into the floor…. I was sucking my stomach in hard that I almost fainted while making faces at GGB. Barman took this as his cue to say “Because she is pregnant”…. GGB doesn’t miss a beat and says “Well she isn’t”. I very suspiciously sucked at my Moscow Mule (don’t order one there, they’re not nice) and asked Barman three times if he had put alcohol in it….

@ WORK
Once while being frisked by security.... a few times by suppliers who were either happy for me or concerned that I was going on maternity leave.... once by a nosey new receptionist who asked me repeatedly if I was sure that I'd only been away on holiday, not maternity leave.

ON A DATE #2
The date was finished, but we popped into a store, the chain that I work for in fact…. One of the sales assistants’ asks me “Are you pregnant”…. I’m sucking my tummy and cheeks in as I shake my head, hoping the hottie I’m with hasn’t heard…. THEN she says “You’re not? Can I touch it?” And proceeds to rub my stomach…. Say whaaaaaaaaaat, yes…. Didn’t see the hottie again…. Fortunately because he turned out to be a tad dodge… not because of my hideous deformity…

COUNTLESS TIMES AT P ‘n P
Pick ‘n Pay is a grocery store (I say this because apparently I have a big readership in the Northern Hemisphere). Tellers like to ask…. Sometimes I let someone believe it because they offer me the last trolley…. I didn’t let it go when I was standing in line with my friend’s boyfriend, and a keen lady was rubbing my belly uninvited and grinning up at friend’s bf…. Guys never seem to know what is happening… he’s like “what was happening there?”…. my reply of “she thinks I’m carrying your baby” was not met with much approval… figures.

ON THE TUBE
Ok, so getting a seat while everyone else stands... in a foreign country.... yeah, I'll let that go. My skinny friend figured it out after she'd been ignored and I'd been offered a seat for the second time in the same day.... ;)

This is really just a select few occurrences, most of it blurs into:

A stranger is touching me…. “When are you due?”
“If you’re not pregnant, then why do you look like that?”
Suggestive hand movements indicating a large belly
Denial of alcohol and dangerous behaviour
Blushes
Awkward apologies
Or no apologies at all “well you LOOK pregnant….”

I accept it, it’s just embarrassing… it happens to celebrities every few months.... hopefully by the end of the year this will all be a distant memory…. Until I really do have a baby in my belly…. One not made of food…

Ok, look at that belly!

Eating.... again?

So.... Dukan.... Attack Phase.... I just eat protein... I am a carnivore... when people ask "Chicken breast and...?" My reply is anything from "just that" to "cottage cheese" or "ham"

I feel obsessed with eating, I've had 6 mini meals today.... and that's excluding supper. It's the only way I don't get starving and can actually face protein-protein-protein... with a side of PROTEIN. Don't get me wrong, eggs and ham.... yes, Sam I Am.... I will eat green eggs and ham. They are delicious! It's just my brain that says eating all the time and not eating veggies is JUST WRONG... but, good golly... I've got rid of 3kgs! In 5 days....

 

I am becoming a Hobbit.... (if you don't know, they eat OFTEN)

 

Guilt Is Ridiculous

I love writing, but I haven't been writing.
I love reading, but I haven't been reading.

I'm so tired and grumpy this morning.
The sermon from Sunday on "Working" echoes through my head... God doesn't like lazy people.... am I lazy? I can't focus on work.

Is this because I've been consuming protein since Saturday? FOUR DAYS already. Brother and I both dropped 2.5kg in the first two days. Now we sit.... unmoving.... is that why I feel like this?
I got up early and did yoga.... hanging upside down in Downward Dog until I almost fainted.

I've got my playlist ready, To-Do List handy... I'm getting my feelings out now..... cup of tea in hand.... "God make me focus" is my whispered prayer.

Here's the video I tried to do this morning.... I didn't finish it, but I can feel that I worked my legs.... small steps hey?

We Can Dukan!

I've googled every possible thing to convince myself that Dukan is ok for me, maybe I've been looking for an excuse?

But it seems:
- I can stick to plan while I recover from having my wisdom teeth out (in a few weeks time)
- Low carb is often advised for depression
- Low carb is good for IBS
- IT WORKS

I found this blog: http://southafricandukan.wordpress.com/
While it only has a few things on it, I like the motivational posters and SA retailer specific products.

Brother and I planned a few meals already, and cleared the fridge of "offending" products... fortunately we didn't have much in the way of "illegal" foods - about 100ml of fruity yoghurt, half a carton of fruit juice, left over low fat custard, and seeing as neither of us had managed to have dinner last night, it didn't seem criminal to have "fairly" healthy snacks (yes, yes the sugar.... but it's not PIZZA).

We will start tomorrow with eggs and yoghurt for breakfast. I'm planning grilled chicken breasts stuffed with cottage cheese and ham for lunch (yeah.... does sound AMAZING). I'm going to attempt to make galettes for dinner, maybe with cottage cheese and tuna.

Recipe for galette HERE. It's an oat bran based pancake. We need to consume 1.5 tablespoons of oat bran per day... so seems a great way to consume it!

Feeling pretty positive and pumped now. And yes, I will have pizza and wine tonight.... last supper, as it were....

Then, to focus on my new mantra:

PS: I did yoga last night, I am amazing

Sasko Sam... you best hide yourself....

Dear Devoted Reader

I seem to have been boldly throwing around the word “Dukan”… and now I’m screwed. Totally  screwed…. Don’t sign up for stuff before you have read the fine print with a telescope… I nodded sagely through “no carbs”, “no alcohol”…. And just lost my $h1t over the idea of “NO FRUIT”…. Say whaaaaaaaaat? What about an apple a day? 5-a-day? Ok, I can eat veggies…. Eventually…. But fruit? We’re looking at 3 months sans fruit and only if I can lose at least 15kg in 3 months.

 (I don’t know how long that apple has been sitting on my desk.... but I just inhaled it)

Brother is doing it with me…. And seems very excited about phase 1… which is where we eat ONLY PROTEIN for 5 days…. I was a vegetarian for 5 years…. Meat-only seems positively criminal. But, what’s that? I could lose 5kgs straight off? *mouth forms into a little O shape*

 People say don’t focus on what you can’t have, look…. You can have low fat bacon

 

*sniffs the air* “BACON?”

 And quark…. “What’s QUARK” …. No-one knows, it must be foreign…. *googles*

 “Oh, it’s a soft cheese… we like cheese….”

We have said we will start on Saturday… so I need to go eat a kilo of apples and the Sasko Sam mascot…..

xxx

PS: I know fad diets are totes un-PC, but this one works and it's only a few months of craziness....

Coming Soon.... some long overdue posts

Look out for:

*New diet challenge
*Can I actually complete a running challenge for once and for all?
*Gentle-Man-Bashing
*I thought I was part of your family (a humorous piece)
*Fashion Police - lifelong dream job