I started off my day well, with some recovery and spiritual readings. A line from today's reading in "Jesus Calling" by Sarah Young really stuck with me.
"Don't waste energy wondering whether you are adequate for today's journey."
Admittedly I didn't repeat it over and over in my head right through the day, but it did come to mind a few times. I don't think that I am the only person who felt a little bit inadequate today. We are under such pressure, in a world that really likes to bash what it hates without even noticing what is good. Heck, the industry that I'm in can get really hard-core judgy at times. Fortunately, I do seem to roll with the punches better these days. Or are people less critical? Or have a given then less of a gap to try to unravel me? Maybe all of the above. That said, I do doubt myself and criticise myself in some way every single day. I feel I should write it as EVERY.SINGLE.DAY. Obviously my levels of confidence ebb and flow.
Can I break off on a tangent to wonder if ebbing is better than flowing? (let's ask Google) Ok, so do I want to be the tide going out or in? Never mind, they move, my moods and confidence levels move.
So, back to the reading. The bigger theme of the reading was trusting God to have your back right through the day. I know that I don't hand over stuff enough to God during the day, so I need to work on my trust. And what is adequate? Surely I've managed to get through my day if I've managed to eat, drink, walk and not destroy anything? Do I even want to be described as adequate? Do I want to rather "rock my day"? Maybe it feeds into the concept of "not good enough", being adequate means that you are good enough, maybe not excellent, but enough to be of value, or worth?
I'm really tired now. Off to sleep, I plan I be more than adequate tomorrow!
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